Confused with my own feelings

[Spawn]

Hi all!

 

waz up...hope things goin fine for everyone( ok that was puttin it a wee bit mildly)

 

I am kinda stuck with my feelings offlate, i swear i won't talk about my ex anymore, somethings are just not worth it anymore. But still, i can't help it but i do realize there has been some change with the whole thinkin about datin and stuff with me.

 

I saw this girl yesterday at my cisco trainin center, very cute and sweet lookin girl, we kinda kept on givin glances to each other most of the time. She cause she was seein me for the first time there ( probably was thinkin what kinda freakin blue alien just got in here), she works there at the accounts section. I am like going to be a regular there from tomorrow. Another training so yea will be seein her everyday.

 

I will be lyin if i say that i am ok now with datin and all but still the moment i approach some girl now, i kinda get the goosebumps not cause i am shy or anythin or scared of approachin girls but cause the life that i am leadin now, the single and not lookin kinda, i so feel there is nuthin so beautiful about it than being single.

 

The last relationship, ( ok going to talk about just the relationship now for the nth time ) my first one, didn't exactly work out right for me. I felt lost as a person near to its end, lost cause i felt i didn't do much for me, it was always about her, thinking about her and her feelings, in the process i got hurt a lot. So ya i had been thru one bad relationship, no regrets atleast i know i am good in some ways and can be a loyal, funny and a lovin person to whomsoever wants to become a part of my life. Its been 6 months to the breakup or probably more than that don't know exactly i have stopped counting. I sometimes also feel like a jerk the way i handled things after our breakup, her "lets-be-friends" mails, my ventin on her and stuff.

 

I think i am scared of loosin myself if i get into a relationship and i also think i am starting to like the single status or probably gettin a wee bit addicted too.

 

How to get out of this phase now

 

Has anybody been thru this after their breakup?

[celticghirl]

hello spawn

 

i felt the same as you did except my situation was a bit different. i came out of a violent relationship and i was very afraid of going into another one. i felt relieved in a sense to be single but at the same time i was afraid this was how i would remain. the violence and manipulation of my previous relationship just put me down completely and the thought of dating again scared the bejeezus out of me.

 

3 months on however, i have found someone. i am taking this one more slowly and i have learned from my previous relationship to put some time for myself as well. balance both parties if you like. you will come out of this phase...6 months is good progress and it will diminish completely and there will be a time when you will feel confident enough to get out there and get with someone, such as this girl at your cisco course. we all heal at different speeds...some longer than others.

 

bite the bullet and take a risk. you have nothing to lose

 

leah

[Spawn]

thanks celtic. I do read your posts, i know what kinda hell you been through.

 

I do hope it works out well for ya, although you are doin right by taking it slow but don't forget to stand up for yourself when things get rough, something i didn't find myself doin when i was with my ex...aahh well.

 

Good luck.

[celticghirl]

thank you spawn and i think you should take your own advice. when you do go into another relationship then it is not wrong to think about yourself as well.

 

i dedicated myself to my ex despite him treating me like dirt and i couldnt recognise myself at all. i have learned to act differently now.

 

all the best to you and keep us posted on the situation with that girl

 

leah

[Iggy5129]

Hey, I am totally feeling you on this. I got out of a relationship over a year ago and have been single since. He cheated on me so now I am little scared of trusting guys and I also am REALLY enjoying being single and hanging out with my friends. My friends are the most important thing to me. But lately I have been feeling like I want to start dating again. There is a guy that likes me and I like him but I freaked out and avoided him for a month thinking that I really was not ready to get involved like I thought I was. My roommate was in a similar situation as me but just recently met someone new and said that the best thing to do is just confront your fear and let yourself like someone new. Well last night I did, and I hung out with this guy and it was great, we had a great time and it was fun. I don't plan on making it serious or anything because I know I am NOT ready for a serious relationship. So basically my advice is that not every person you date has to be serious. Just go slow and have fun, maybe even just hang out with girls as friends until you feel comfortable being more. You can date and still have your single status. Good luck!

[Spawn]

I dunno probably its too soon for me to date and i will just leave it for now. grr...the confusion remains and i am just gonna go with that for now.

 

thanks for your reply celtic and iggy and take care you too.