Steven1607307306 Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 "Serenity" Cool night walk, crisp air chills the skin. Moonlight warms the soul, Stars tease the eye. Another summer night, walking a quiet path. Crickets play their good-night song, Planes fly overhead. Cars roll towards destination, fireflies dance in darkness. the midnight breeze tenses muscles, stillness relaxes body. Painful memories long forgotten, Joyfull bliss awaits. Waits with patience, arms wide open. Beaten pavement, black as night, silver-blue moon, shines above. Transcendance through fateful reminscence. Lonelyness long departed, such as the beading sweat. Caused by the heat of the moment, burning desires at best. Fulfillment steals the place, of emptiness of heart. Now I walk this quiet path, once again with ease. Returning to this worn out road, my destination glows. How could I be blind before, and walk those twisted routes. What once was crooked, straightened now. Testing waters of uncharted seas. No more distorted truths be told, honoring your wishes. Now walking home tonight, I left my troubles elsewhere. Link to comment
lost_status Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 oh wow! Thats awesome! I really like it. It has so much imagery in it Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 oh yeah, you definitely have "the gift", all right. i just took a run through your posted poems, and although i know a zillion and one words, i can never seem to fit them together into the spectacular shapes that you can at less than half my age. i think i hate you. Link to comment
KillTheSilence Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 you seem to be a natural at stuff like this makes me wanna start a topic that asks what influences people when they write poetry...hmm.... Link to comment
Steven1607307306 Posted August 13, 2006 Author Share Posted August 13, 2006 Thanks a lot guys, appreciate the positive feed back. Confidence boost really helps. But honestly, I always thought my poetry was crap. I love KTS's poems A lot, and Slightly Bent, your are very cool. Those are my two favorite poets on this site, and you both have different styles. Yet, as long as you can capture your emotions, and paint a picture for the reader, who cares what style? All three of our styles are different, yet we all love each others poems. Odd. Link to comment
Boughtandpaidfor Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 I think it's really great too! Loads of amazing imagery-- have to say the first two stanzas feel very separate from the rest of the poem- they're very haiku like in their showing-rather-than-telling style. Then your emotions become more prevalent after that. Almost could be two poems!! Really good tho!! Link to comment
Allie. Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 wow. i really like it. keep writing. Always, Allie. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Now I walk this quiet path, once again with ease. Returning to this worn out road, my destination glows. How could I be blind before, and walk those twisted routes. What once was crooked, straightened now. Testing waters of uncharted seas. No more distorted truths be told, honoring your wishes. Now walking home tonight, I left my troubles elsewhere. ^ Definitely my favorite parts. You're very talented! Link to comment
Steven1607307306 Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 Thanks for the feedback everyone! Link to comment
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