Does This Mean He Might Have Feelings?

[VIRGOLDY]

Been seeing a divorced father of 3 kids for a couple months. He's been divorced since November, and his kids are a priority which I find extremely appealing, though I have no kids of my own.

 

Anyway, it seems our relationship has been becoming more serious lately, but it's hard to tell. Last night I sent him an email while he was working and at first it was flirty, I was asking him when he wanted to meet up, you know being playful, then out of the blue he says "I'm in a crappy mood, and not in the mood for this banter". Well that through me for a loop....and I thought he was blowing me off. So I mailed him back....basically asking why he was being so rude to me? His reply : "I don;t need to be at right now. Please leave me alone"......Well I never replied. I let it go.

 

So he sent me an email this morning....here's what it said

 

 

....I'm sorry I was in such a bad mood last night...

My mom is in town....and she really made me feel bad about the way

things turned out.

It wasn't anything you did....I apologize.

I have my son tonight.....he asked if he could come over and I want to make sure he's doing ok. With three kids....there can be ups and downs, as you'd expect.

When they're down, I feel guilty.

 

Anyway....sorry.

 

 

 

 

So anyway I replied: Thank you ..I appreciate that. I really do.

Sorry you aren't feeling good.

I'm not going anywhere....I'll be here if you wanna talk

 

Did I handle it ok?

Was him telling me this a sign that he likes me and trusts me?

 

Thanks.

[winter2005]

It seems to me that he has no respect for you. And no matter what mood he is in, if he respected you he would have never replied that way. If he was so into you and scared of loosing you he would have not replied that way. He does not seem that into you from what I think. I would drop him like its hot and move on. I am sure there are men out there that will love you and respect you even when thier mom is in town.

Play his game send back an email and say I am busy .

and then lets see what will happen.... teach him a lesson and if he repeats it..

then ull know ur answer

[Beec]

Someone tells you they are in a crappy mood and want to be left alone. What do you do? Leave them alone, as they explained they wanted to be left alone? No, you send them more messages. Isn't it ok to want to be alone for some time? Isn't it ok to be in a crappy mood? If he gets in one, then leave him alone. I won't say I agree with how he approached things, but I also don't think asking him why he is rude is the way to go, after he said he was in a crappy mood. I would have just said OK and left him alone. I also think you both dealt with it well when you emailed each other this morning.

 

Doesn't seem like any great isues are here, except that he has ones with his family that he needs to handle. AND, maybe you need to come up with better ways to deal with his crappy moods. He should be able to give you signals that get you to leave him alone, without you being offended. He's a guy, he is not going to want to talk about the problem. Don't make him. He also does not want you to see him sulking. Come up with a way to let him tell you, it's time for him to be left alone.

 

Is he serious about you? Cannot tell, but he seems to want to be caring, because he at least addrssed it this morning.

[VIRGOLDY]

So how is playing games going to solve this issue? Two wrongs don;t make a right.

[VIRGOLDY]

Thanks Beec.......I aprpeciate that. I agree I need to ask him to let me know

if he's not in the "mood" in the future..so I am not offended. Since this conversation was over email I guess I took it more personally, because there is no inflection. It just came out of nowhere.

 

After he said he wanted to be left alone....I did NOT email him again. He emailed me this morning apologizing..and I accepted.

[Beec]

This morning, you both dealt with what had happened and he apologized. What more can you ask for? We will all make mistakes, and when someone does apologize after making one, that's a good sign. It says something about them. You had a problem, it was dealt with fairly well, after a short while. Try to address how to avoid much similar problems. What else can you do?

[VIRGOLDY]

Any suggestions on how I can ask him to let me know in the future if somethings bothering him so I won;t get offended and he won't need to apologize for not wanting to be bothered?

[Beec]

Code words. Have him know that he can say a couple words that will get you to leave him alone for a period of time. After that time, he needs to tell you something about why.

[Bethany]

I think Beec hit the nail on the head but not every woman has read Mars/ Venus and knows about the 'Cave' or getting burned by the Dragon but it sure does help to know about it.

[VIRGOLDY]

Yeah i read that book Beth..and I realize that he was probably in his "cave"..and I went in when he wasn't ready to come out. I sent him an email with the suggestion Beec came up with. Will let you know what he says.