What defines an LDR?

[rikka]

I had this discussion with a colleague today and it really irritated me.

 

Due to a promotion my BF had to move to a city centre 200 KMs from me. My view is that our relationship is long distance because we no longer live in the same city and one of us has to travel to meet up. She maintains that we are less than two hours away, and can easily make a day trip out of it, thereforeee it is not really an LDR.

 

So, as people in LDRs of varying degrees... what do you think? What is your personal definition of an LDR?

[Sally00]

Well personally, I think 2 hours is a long drive... thereforeeee qualifying as a LDR.

[Pippa]

The problem with the definition of LDR (long distance relationship) is the first word.

 

How `long` is long? How long is a piece of string? The answer....as long as you want it to be.

 

I had a relationship of similar varying degrees. My ex girlfriend lived 47 miles away. Although it is possible to see her every day. It does take up valuable time, and planning. forty seven miles doesn`t seem like far, but it took up to an hour in the car depending on the traffic.

 

Some people where horrified about the distance, when I told them where my then ex girlfriend lived. Some people even questioned if we could even be a couple. It`s not like you can just pop down her house,a nd visit her. You`re sure not going to waste 2 hours of driving for her not to be there.

 

Now if you add it all up. The planning, the time sent travelling. The costs with fuel,telephone, mobile, and text bills. It does qualify for you to have the term long distance.

 

Why?

 

This is because you are some `distance` away from your boyfriend/girlfriend.

[arwen]

I live over 200 km away from my bf because I had to move for my job. I don't see it as LDR because we see each other every weekend. I was in LDR when I was in a relationship with an Italian man, 1500 km away. But compared to that, a friend of mine is engaged to a Canadian, talking about long distance...

 

I think pippa is right, the distance is more of a psychological matter. I think for me, the longest distance was between me and my first bf. He lived around the corner but was never really available the way my current bf at this distance is.

 

Ilse

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I have to agree with ilse. It is not about the physical distance but the ability of two people to keep caring for each other no matter how far or how near they are.

[Pippa]

Hi Guest12345678,

 

Sorry but,I think you have missed to whole point of the question.

 

The question is `what defines an LDR`. The cue word is `definition`. Its not about how people care for each other. [no mater the distance like you said]

The question is not asking for how people care, but what distance is.

 

but the ability of two people to keep caring for each other no matter how far or how near they are.

Isn`t really an answer an examiner would be looking for.

 

We are talking about the `physical` distance to define long distance. To which Ilse is not talking about the physical side, she is talking about `psychological` side of things.

 

Psychological meaning "Of, relating to, or arising from the mind or emotions." In the dictionary.

[walkingwithaghost]

i think the defination of long equates to the defination of relationship. is a fling a relationship? the less you care about the person the less the distance has to be for it to qualify (to you) as seriously long distance. i.e. if your boyfriend of 2 yrs moves an hour away thats not a big deal. but if its a guy you've been seeing for a couple weeks who is your neighbor moves an hour away that might end the relationship... propinquity is a . (and hard to spell,lol)

[Pippa]

Walkingwithaghost,

 

the less you care about the person the less the distance has to be for it to qualify (to you) as seriously long distance.

 

What the HELL are you talking about?

 

The question was, "What `defines` long distance", and not how people feel for each other. Unfortunately you would score no marks in an examination paper!!

[rikka]

i think the defination of long equates to the defination of relationship. is a fling a relationship? the less you care about the person the less the distance has to be for it to qualify (to you) as seriously long distance. i.e. if your boyfriend of 2 yrs moves an hour away thats not a big deal. but if its a guy you've been seeing for a couple weeks who is your neighbor moves an hour away that might end the relationship... propinquity is a . (and hard to spell,lol)

 

 

To be honest, i see it the other way. My BF of a year has moved 2 hours away... it is very . Now, had he left in January, when I wasn't as attatched... I probably wouldn't have cared.

 

Perhaps you are looking at it in terms of convienience, I tend to see this as a matter of emotion.

[Pippa]

Rikka, what on earth are you talking about?

 

Perhaps you are looking at it in terms of convienience, I tend to see this as a matter of emotion.

Emotion does not define long distance!!

 

You can`t even answer your own question!

 

The question was `what defines long distance?`.

 

Like I said,

 

Now if you add it all up. The planning, the time sent travelling. The costs with fuel,telephone, mobile, and text bills. It does qualify for you to have the term long distance.

Time travelling, and costs and time on the telephone defines long distance.

 

Again, you would score NO points in an examination paper!

[_Just_a_girl]

I would probably agree that 200Km IS long distance. I don't live an i metro area where I'm on the HWY for an hour trying to get home from work anyway. If I had to drive 2 hours after work to be with my sweety...I'd say we're doing the long distance thing.

 

Not that this was the point to your question ---> but I hope it's manageable. I was with someone exclusively for 4 years who was 3.5 hrs away.

[Pippa]

Thank you! Justagirl, at last someone who can actually answer a question. I can see what you mean here,

 

If I had to drive 2 hours after work to be with my sweety...I'd say we're doing the long distance thing.

 

What you mean here is the factor of time, "2 hours", which is defining your long distance.

 

Top marks!

[SW]

A 200km drive in Saskatchewan is like a drive to the corner store.

[5th Ace]

I was in your place last year. I had to go away to school and my boyfriend of almost a year was still in high school (we met and started dating there). My university was about as far away (1.5/2 hrs) as your boyfriend's work is from you. It worked out that we were able to see each other every weekend and just spent the night so it wasn't a 3-hour drive twice in one day, and it required a lot of time and effort, but I wouldn't call it a long distance relationship. Long distance is what he and I are doing now: he's moved back to his homeland (France) for school and I'm still in America. I haven't seen him in 3 months and probably won't until December.

 

So yeah...my definition of a long-distance is a 6-hour time zone difference.

[SarahRose]

It's all about perspective.

 

200km apart would be nothing to me since me and my bf are 17,000km apart and 13 hour time difference.