Hypothetical Situation

[shorty20]

Ok, I heard this on the radio the other day, and wanted to get some more opinions on it...

 

So, this guy (we'll call him Joe) has been dating his girlfriend for about 9 months. So, Joe goes to a party with a few buddies, and after a fun night of innocent drinking, he goes upstairs to his buddies room to crash. He wakes up the next morning to his friend shaking him, telling him that the night before he had walked in on him and some other chick having sex the night before! Now joe dosen't remember any of this at all... he remembers being at the party, drinking, and then going upstairs to go to bed. It turns out that the girl he was having "sex" with had frequented more than one party in the area and proceded to "rape" guys that were intoxicated enough to let it happen. My question... should he tell his girlfriend about it, and did he get raped?

[Seko]

His girlfriend probably wouldn't believe him, so telling her would be risky.

 

Joe knows he had sex with this girl, becuase his friend saw them. However, he has no recollection of it and had no part in it, as far as he knows. Additionally, the girl is known to have made a habit of raping intoxicated guys.

 

All in all, assuming the story is all true as you told it, I would say, yes, he did get raped. However, I'm not quite sure what he should do at this point. I guess it would be fair to tell his girlfriend, as truthfully as he can, what happened.

"I went to a party, I drank, I went upstairs to go to bed. My friend said he saw me having sex with a girl later that night, but I honestly don't remember it happening. I don't know whether my friend was lying to me or not, but I thought I should let you know, and I'm going to get tested for STDs asap, just to be safe."

 

...However...telling her complicates things. It causes problems and he will probably get blamed even though he shouldn't. This is a tough one.

 

What's your opinion on the matter Shorty?

[shorty20]

well, it seems sort of hypocritical. If the situation was reversed and a girl got raped, everyone would see her as the victim and be there for her and be by her side... but since it's the other way around and it's a guy that got raped it's automatic instinct to say that it's his fault and he cheated... I would have to tell my partner, but I would say that I don't know if it's true or not.. .just that one of my friends told me he walked in on me with another girl and that I don't know for sure he's right. I would also get tested for STD's and make an agreement with my gf not to put myself in a situation like that again where something like that could happen. I just htink it's kind of ironic, because when my friend and i heard this on the radio, her automatic reaction was to say he was lying, that he didn't get raped... that guys couldn't get raped because they have to have an erection to be able to have sex, and if they're turned on like that then it's not rape. I disagree iwth that, but also just kind of thought it was kind of ironic how differently people react when something like that happens to a girl, then when something like that happens to a guy.

[Momene]

I find it hard to believe that a bloke so out of it that they can't remember can still get an erection. However, I've heard it said that it's better to lie than tell a truth that is difficult to believe, so I'd just get myself checked out on the quiet.

[shorty20]

see, I wouldn't know these things becuase I'm not a guy, but thats why my friend and I were discussing it. She thinks he's lying... that he remembers everything at it was cheating... I on the other hand, find it hard to feel sorry for a girl in the same situation and then turn around and say the guy in the same situation was cheating...

[babypink61]

I would consider that as rape because he has no intention of having sex with her and he wasn't even sober enough to reject her. I think most people would be biased because they view females as the victims instead of males. I think he should just be really honest with his girlfriend and explain to her what had happened. If he is telling the truth I would hope that his girlfriend would be understanding. It is possible to be completely blacked out, have sex with someone and not remember a thing. That actually happened to both my boyfriend and I . . . so I kinda believe him when he says that he doesn't remember a thing . . .