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Heart broke please help


Griever
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Hi all well here is my story and i hope you guys can give some advice.

 

Me and my ex where together for 1,5 years,

And also enjoyed each other to the fullest.

But from around Juny things where different and strange.

we still loved each other but we both knew something was wrong.

We went and did a short break of a week i wanted to go back to here from the start but she needed some time.

After 6 days we started dating again and all was good again.

Later she told me that she could not stand me talking to other woman's and wanted me back real bad but i dindt really saw it as a break cause we still had lots of text message that time

 

But the lost month (July) was differnt she still acted nice but i could feel that she did not respond to my action as much as a wanted to.

(she was proberly thinking of breaking up)

 

In the month we both had vaction but we worked so much we barely saw each other.

 

in mids of july we headed for hongary for holiday because her parants immigrated there.

The mood of here there was also weird she must have had lots of though running trough here head.

 

I started noticing even more that she head lots on her mind.

she was also strange in emotions the first hour she was super sweet like whe where in love again.

and the next second she would act cold.

but i went and gave here a over-dose on attention and sweet words/deeds because i felt she was slipping away from me

 

But finally when i feeled like she was to much thinking and not putting as much feeling and love into the relation i asked her what on her mind was.

 

She said she kinda felt the spark was gone but wanted to see me as a friend.

im still pissed why she had to do that in the mids of the holiday now i was stranded in a country and i could not escape there.

she said she should had done it before the vaction

 

Suddenly the girl who i was sleeping next to wasnt mine anymore.

The girl who i kissed and made love to 1 day ago wouldn't even give me a goodnight kiss.but she would undress naked and change clothes right infront of me ...

 

i went in a depressing mood and still could not believe she wanted to break up.

Cause i was still in love with here.

She acted cold like she wanted me to get over her quickly.

or because i was nagging to much that i still loved here.

 

But she had the upper hand there cause SHE had here family there so she had always a hiding place when she didnt want to talk to me.

I was all alone in a country which i did not speak the lang so going home earlier was out of the question.

 

i couldnt stand it anymore sleeping next to the girl i loved but coundt touch.

she would open her eyes look straight into mine and turn around i went mad there

then the 2 of us headed back to our own country we traveld the 10 hour journey together.

lots of things went trough my head but i coundt put them into concrete words so i didnt talk to much instead of the normal chatting.

 

When we where back and here older sister was waiting for here at the train station we gave each other a hug few kisses and she said ''See you in 3 days in the disco ''(we always headed to the same one because there was only 1 major disco there)

 

now im 2 days alone back home with my parants.

yesterday i was mad like hell how could she do that to me and i deserve better etc the normal rage.

 

But when i needed to pick up my bike which was still at here home she was nice we chatted a lil (not relation just chat)

i went home and i wasnt mad anymore i was in love again.

 

i just dont know how to react when i see her at the disco with her girlfriend.

she is a real eye candy girl and i just feel like every man in my town is gonne set there claws into here now she is single (eventhough i know she wont react to them or put much offord in her)

 

she doesnt have much friends anymore since she is going to studie in a bigger city 125km from me.

it was a nother reason (I think) why she broke up with me now cause she told me she was really scared of the long range relation and that i might not work out.

 

I however still have LOADS of friends but she only has 1 good friend left.

and when she is going to study in the big city and has to work alot to pay the rent (because her parents immigrated)

 

I know i have to be myself when i see her but i want her back so bad.

so my question is should i go No Contact on her cause in after the vaction is over she is all alone in the big city and then go back to contact?

or stay friends as we are at this point and slowly head back to dating and more 1 on 1 stuff like beachwalking,movie,going to drink something.

 

if you readed all this thank you for youre time

Any help or oppions are apricated

Thanks in advanced

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Wow, The vacation situation would have been really tough. She was pretty mean to break up with you whilst you were on holiday together.

 

I think the best thing you can do now is to go no contact and try and get on with your life and leave her to hers. If she still has any feelings for you she will let you know in some way.

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I thought what she did was incredibly immature, to have dragged you to another country with her to visit her family, and then break up with you while you were still there. How insensitive of her. I do not think she was ready for a relationship in the first place, and I know you're still hurt from this and feel like you want her back, but I think that is a terrible idea to try to start anything, and the only way you can move on is to cut off all ties with her and get on with your life. You mentioned you have plenty of friends. Well, go talk to them, hang out, just distract yourself and eventually, you'll forget about her. Don't entertain the thought of letting her back into your life until much later. I'll let you decide on the time, but preferably when you've moved on. Don't let her hurt you again.

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Rout66life and milrich thank you for youre response.

 

Yeah i think NC is the way to go for me.

Only thing is almost always see her in weekends when i go out with my friends.

Im just wondering how NC would work if i still saw here =/

also the though of other guys looking at her and dancing around her is eating me from the inside(im imagen the weekend already >_>)

Cause for my feeling she is still my love ...

 

Also how to act when i see her i know ''normal'' but thats a hard action as i feel now.

and also what im scared of is that NC would get her mad or something like that and that would ruin my the contact for good.

Or would you still say NC? i would be pretty pissed 2 if some one dindt respond to me =/

It feels like i dunno i lil bit disrespectfull argg ...

 

Right now she still all alone for 2 weeks long at her parents home before they permenant immigrate i know she doesnt like to be alone in a big house.

So ill see what happens after the 2 weeks of her being alone

 

But i do feel like when she sees me having fun again and im my happy ''self'' again (which i lost a bit in the relationship cause i was taking it for granted)dont contact her to much she will know what she is missing.

 

Cause i do know there is still some love in her for me.

now to wonder how im getting that out.

But have NC worked for lots of ppl ?

 

But first im gonne try and love myself again and sort everything out.

and what will be will be

 

Still any advice are welcome

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The big trouble of me stressing to see her at the club was nothing.

 

when i saw here i just waved a friendly gestore and smiled all the time

And while i was having fun with my friends she was almost always checking on me

 

On top of that i made a real nice talk with her best friend (which also is one of mine) but didnt say a word about ''her'' just about the friend and how she was doing what she was doing with a friend of mine etc.

my ex was first getting drinks but when she saw me talking to her she suddenly went into the backround.

 

After that she went back to her and they talked and she looked back at me.

i just knew they where talking about me but i didnt say anything about her.and only about the friend

 

Later the evening she was suddenly behind me and stroked me in my hair and grabbed my chest while she was walking by.

 

I suddenly feel like i have all controll back to me AND she knows it =P

it feels awsome not to run after them but to change the rules for ones.

Thank you NC even though i still have a long way to go its paying of its fruits already n_n

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Wow I was in a similar situation but yours is much worse but basically my ex started ot act different and we were bumping heads more often then usual and it was becoming a one sided relationship. So I ended it because my mind took over and my heart stopped. It was almost like a mutual break up.

 

Anywayz my advice to you is honestly follow your heart. My heart wanted to keep pushing her to give me a straight answer if she wants to come back to me or not. I gave her space try to do the nc thing but she would always call me. I finally did the NC it lasted 4 days she called me on my birthday made me go out with her, she kissed me, slept on the same bed as her but still no answer because she said she was just still confused and is worried nothing will change.

 

I finally gave her more space with NC, she started doing her own thing and I finally got an answer out of her. She said no because she's being feeling ebtter doing what she wants with no complications. OUCH that broke my heart we both cried and it was very upsetting for me. I told her I dont want to be friends because one we were never friends in the start and second it would just be too damn hard for me.

 

I then changed my mind today on her birthday and gave her the gift of me agreeing to friendship because I told her If there's any chance of us being together then I have to have u in my life but I'm going to move on but not let go of u in my heart until I know for sure u share ur heart with someone else.

 

So my friend, my advice to you is to just follow what your heart says but keep in my mind of advice of other but use it to make a deicsion with ur heart.

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