I was even more betrayed than I thought

[Fisch]

Two weeks ago my girlfriend of 1.5 years who I was in love with and who claimed to be in love with me called me out of nowhere and said that we had to break up because she was confused and in love with someone else. Mind that we had a very very deep relationship and we were both very happy. After that I heard nothing and tried to maintain NC, until 2 days ago when I had to call her to tie some loose ends.

She says that she has been in love with this guy since high school (2 to 6 years ago) and that she had just decided to "repress" her feelings for him. So it turns out that she dated me thinking she could deal with this baggage by repressing it instead of dealing with it as she usually does (she prefers to avoid conflict or discomfort in any way). I never knew anything of this and she didnt seem to think it was anything I should hear of.

She came home for summer and decides to hang out with this guy. I cant believe how immature this person turned out to be. What did she think was going to happen? It seems obvious to me. They basically were dating for a while without my knowledge. The second she realized that this guy would take her back she called me and told me she didnt love me any more, despite saying the opposite just the day before.

This girl is so good at deluding herself that it is scary. Why do we have to pay for the immaturity, honorlessness, and niavite of others? This whole thing reeks of her being to immature to let go and wanting things she couldnt get before? I went through the death of her father with her and many very emotional times that it seemed like it was just me and her, and she was able to drop me for what seems like such novelty to a guy that is honorless enough to come on to someone who is taken. ](*,)

When I talked to her she didnt really seem to think that she had done anything wrong, by lying when I asked about their relationship in the past, by lying about the feelings they developed, and basically everything else. I really feel like her emotions for this guy are based off of a falacy, but at this point I am moving on and have not done anything that would compromise my pride.

Talking to her I almost felt like a parent to a child because she knew she had been deceptive but at the same time still wanted to delude herself although she admitted some guilt.What do you guys think will happen?

[Belle]

The good thing about being the one with integrity in a relationship, is that good things will happen for you. You will have more rewards than if you had little to no integrity. The bad thing is that you have to experience the immaturity of someone who will have less fortunate karma.

 

I think this thing will burn itself out. He probably wanted her because she was taken. She wanted him because she took you for granted and has him on a pedestal. But in my experience, they usually come back. Leaving someone for someone else usually doesn't work out that well because they realize at some point the grass wasn't greener and that relationship will end organically. I just hope you're completely over her when that does happen.

[melrich]

I think it is best that you take that attitude to move on. It does sound like she is chasing a bit of a fantasy but at the end of the day people can't just ignore feelings that they have. She needs to learn her own lessons in life.

 

Good luck with it all.

[EternalHindSight]

Coudnt Agree more with the above advice, they *females* in particular hold up this romantic ideal of a relationship, they want the honeymoon period (first 3-6months) to go on forever, at least the 18-20s do from my experience.

 

Its complete fantasy, a relationship has to grow and get over the intial floating feeling of love or lust if u will, sounds like she had someone take an interest in her, was flattered and went to try it out, at your expense.

 

Women make out men are the wrong doers all the time, tho hearing your story, mine and many others i have to wonder.

 

My advice is dont take her back when she comes running back and she will, if she can do that to you once she will do it again. Its emotionally cheating, even if it wasnt physical while she was with u.

 

my sympathies