ex emailed me on my bday today, his bday is in 2 wks

[summerday]

Hello, all

 

I had LDR w/ my ex for 2 1/2 years. We broke up in March, on a good term. initally, we had 2 month of NC. Then we had very limited contacts for a short time. After some serious thinking, I call my ex at end of June and told him that I'm willing to move to his city in order to make this relationship work..... He was gladly surprised by my decision, promised that he would think about it and let me know his answer.

 

It has been 6 weeks, i have heard NOTHING from him...... until today, on my birthday. He sent me a nice email to wish me a happy bday, told me a little about his life, but didn't mention anything about his decision.

 

I know the guy too well, indecisive and immature. He would never able to tell me "NO", yet he wouldn't give me what i want neither. He wouldn't cherrish me until i'm gone. I 'm tired of waiting for him, i want to move on.

 

My ex bday is in 2 wks. My question for you is, should i ignore his email? should i reply a quick thank u email to him? or should I just wait and send him a email or b-day card on his bday?

 

I have no problem keeping NC, but I feel ignoring him completely makes me a little immature. on the other hand, i am afraid if i do email or send him a card, i would miss him more.

[Marianne]

6 weeks is a long time , i know i wouldnt keep sum1 waiting for answer That long and you dont deserve to be in the darkness .sumthing like this is important that he should had mentioned it to you then leaving you confused and wondering unless he doesnt really care about the realationship than you do .i dont know, you be strong and wise you are a woman not a door mat

 

sumtimes when i feel bad about doing no contact i tell the person my honest feelings about how they are hurting or making me feel of things so if you feel bad about no contacting then express how he makes you feel by waiting he may not realised or maybe he didnt think you would want to talk about it on ur birthday .

[finewhine]

I was faced with a similar dilemma right after my ex and I broke up, and I decided to go through with it. Just send him an e-mail similar to the one he sent you. I texted my ex (after a 3.5 year relationship) a simple "Happy Birthday." It didn't kill me. It's just an acknowledgement. It didn't open any doors or anything like that.

 

Do it and forget about it. Focus on yourself.

[summerday]

Thanks, Marianne

 

I havn't thought about writing/calling him to express my feeling yet. I'm just so hurted i don't know if i can handle this any longer. You are right, moving to someone close is a HUGE deal. I'm confused.

 

Anybody else has any thoughts on this issue?

[lady00]

Ignore it. If he hasn't made a decision in 6 weeks, he doesn't want the relationship, he just doesn't have the guts to say so. It's a good thing you found out before moving out there to be with him. Initiate NC now if you want to get over this guy and that includes not saying anything on his bday. He is incredibly inconsiderate for telling you he was going to "think about it" then not saying anything for 6 weeks then saying happy birthday. Go into NC mode. It will benefit you tremendously.

[Alezia]

I'm going to agree with lady on this one. If you feel like you must send him a happy birthday email then do so but otherwise I wouldn't contact him any further.

[summerday]

Thanks for you guys advice.

 

Mousty, I don't feel "I must write" to him. As matter of fact, the more i think about this issue, the more I feel I shouldn't write to him anymore.

 

Yes, the mature thing to do will be send a simple card and forget about him. But I am tired of trying to make things right. I feel contact him again will make him think i'm still available.

 

I've followed this forum for a few months. Many times, I see the same storys repeating: 2 person breaks up, one wants save the relationship more than the other. By the time other person realize his/her mistakes and wants make up. It's already too late.

 

unfortunally, my love story would probably have the same ending anyone knows how the avoid the fate?