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Rekindle after 5 years? (sorry, it's long!)

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Allright so, I'm new to the board... and I have a situation, and would appreciate any input!


Me and my ex broke up about 5 years ago. We were 19/20 at the time, now we're abit older, more mature, etc... you know how

it goes. We broke up for alot of stupid reasons, she was smoking up alot with her friends and I being a non-smoker had

some problems with this. So we fought about that, money, a few other things... Trivial stuff . Things escalated from bad to worse in a

typical downward fashion, and eventually we were broken up. We had a few communications online and over the phone,

I called her, she called me, I didn't return calls, she didn't return calls. She claims she was very confused at the time, wanted there to be a chance

for us in the future, etc... Back and forth... until she became a little more firm, in which I promptly cut her off (NC). At

the end of the situation, it was her decision to remain broken up, and I believe she started seeing this other guy.

She asked about me through her friends a few times... asked if i was seeing anyone... my friends were pretty clear to her

friends to back off. I needed my time to heal.


I was her first relationship and first love. She was mine too, though I had plenty of experience prior to her. So I suppose

she had alot of experience to gain, which I felt I didn't need at the time. But here we are, 5 years later... and hell

we were only together for a year but damn what a year! Anyway, I've moved on... have dated other people, boosted my self-

esteem... in absolutely every fashion, a better person than I was 5 years ago. But... she still clings to my memory,

and it's hard to shake.


I don't really know how to read her signals...it's like we became so close so fast, that once I was not a part of her

interior circle, and saw her from an outside perspective, it confused me because I had never known her like that. 5 years

later, I gave her a call to drop off some stuff that I would have thrown out otherwise, figured it was the right thing to do.

And I saw her... and it was oddly awkward, now I've hung out with other ex's before, and once you get to the point of

being over somebody you are alot more comfortable with yourself.


Now there are two possibilities. (1) She's indifferent, and just doesn't want to say anything to hurt me and probably felt

awkward naturally, or (2) There are some latent feelings there that are making her uncomfortable to deal with.



My question is... how do you read an ex after so long? I can't read her signals or her body language, she was always

a very difficult girl to perceive. I'm nobody's spare tire and nobody's sucker, and I have had a great deal of dating

experience since. I know she dated some real ***holes after me, and I treated her pretty well. I made some mistakes,

I am just a man, but nothing beyond forgiveness, I certainly never treated her badly. Another thing too, I hear she's

with some guy who treats her like absolute crap . From what I hear, they've been together longer than I was with her.

I really don't believe in rescuing girls from their own stupidity... as it is, she broke up with me once before our

final breakup, only to break down the next day and apologize to me and all that and wanted to get back together.

Any girls here that might be able to shine some light on the situation? Am I stupid for letting my pride get in the way

of rekindling a relationship with a great girl, or should I know better than to try to get back with a girl who's got a

2-black mark track record with me already?


You know, most dumpees say to themselves "you made the bed, now sleep in it..." and watch with a devilish grin

as everything turns to mud for the other person. But you hardly expect them to continue sleeping in it.

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It's possible if you treated her well and all these other guys treated her badly then she now knows where she was better off, and wants you back. It's up to you if you go back but must be sure if it's going to work or you'll get hurt again. I know it can work, I have a friend at work, her and her partner split up for 5 years, she dated others but always realised 'he was the one' after 5 years they got back together, they are getting on better than ever and have just had a baby, it's worked for them, but it doesn't mean it will work for you too, only you can tell what kind of person she is. Maybe she just wants you to rescue her from her current bad relationship, and then after that who knows?

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