An old friend...

[eMICHELLEa]

...

 

I am so confused...

 

Here's some background---I used to be very unstable with my depression.

All I really needed was some attention from the right people. I met a boy with some of the same veiws..He and I where already good friends but never really had gotten to know each other beyond the surface. Till one day he saw a fading scar on my wrist. We were infront of a bunch of people and he started trying to take my arm in disbelief.He talked to me in private and told me to call him that night. I never did and he ended up calling me.. Over a few months we became really close and were either together or on the phone..He told me I could tell him anything and that he understood...So ofcourse I went for it and opened up completely..I had never trusted anyone before..He had most of the same problems and made me feel normal and loved..One day it was as if he couldn't take it anymore..He just stopped talking to me. I guess I was a downer.. But of all people I thought he'd understand how dificult it was to deal with..

 

the problem---

 

It has been over a year now..I have gone to the ward and gotten on meds..I have been so much better..I don't complain to anyone anymore unless it is about my losing him..I just wish I could go back because then I'd have just shut up and gotten meds before I screwed everything up.. I have tried so hard to proove that I have changed..I don't know what to do...I just want the relationship back...I know I should move on but I've never met someone that helped me so much or that I've cared for like this..And I have no idea what else I can do just to be his friend..How can I show him that I'm not that person anymore???

[Beec]

Thank him, show him apprecaition and don't look for anything from him. Make him feel special, and don't think that he needs to do anything in return.

[eMICHELLEa]

Thank you But how can I make him feel specail??

[Beec]

First, just thanking him, that should do it. Ever have anyone come up to you and especially thank you? Did it feel good?

 

I might also consider apologizing for getting to be a little too burdensome. A simple "Sorry, if I got to be too much for you to handle."

 

These two messages will show him: appreciation, that's what thanks is all about, and that will make him feel at least a little special; and if you mean the sorry part, that you will not longer be or are less likely to be such a burden.

 

If he talks to you after that, listen. Listen and make eye contact when you do. Listening also shows appreciation.

 

Now, don't do anything all the time, and space things out, but also compliments. If he tells you something that shows wisdom, intelligence, etc., let him know. If he is funny, tell him he makes you laugh.

 

Smile at him. A good welcoming smile, be glad to see him.

 

All of these things will help.

 

Be sure not to ask anything from him. And don't try to ever talk to him for long, nothing more than a few minutes. He'll soon want to talk to you more. Make him make that effort to try.