Would you say this to your ex?

[Jersey21]

I ran into an ex girlfriend of 7 years the other day in traffic. She left me 6 years ago for reasons that are still unclear but not important anymore. I think it was a combination of her meeting another man while I was away at school. I can't blame her she waited over two years for me. I always missed her and think about her till this day dispite all the pain she put me through I still love her but learned long long ago to accept the fact she is gone for good. I have since then dated pleanty of girls and have moved on. Or so I thought, now it's perfectly normal for someone to think about someone they loved for so long, they have a very special place in your heart, to be honest with you it took me a long time to get over her and to give you an example 6 years after I last saw her ( ugly confrontation with her new boyfriend and I) she pulls up to me in traffic (go figure) she asked "How I was?" I froze, my heart started skipping. I kept it cool and said I'm doing well. Now keep in mind she left me, and I tried for almost a year to win her back with no luck. I noticed two babies in the back seat and she said I know like if to say "can you believe it?" She asked how I was again and all I could do was sit there, as I was about to say something to her she cuts me off and says "I think about you all the time" very sincerely and almost teary eyed. I was like wha? Traffic light turned green told her it was great to see her, waived and drove off I could watch her staring at me as I drove off. Now I cant stop thinking about her because of what she said, I could really use some help I dont want to do this again Im over her why couldnt she just ask how I was and keep it simple.

 

It's hard enough to see her again as it is, why did she have to say she thinks about me all the time? What does that mean? She is happily married. Is it the same as if you were to run into an old buddy?

What should I do and should I feel good that she thinks about me all the time?

I wanted to tell her that I did too but it wouldn't come out and I'm beginning to think it was the best thing I could have done.

 

Question: If you were happily married would you say that to your ex?

Would you say that to your ex period.

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone.

 

wow. that is crazy! i don't know - I wouldn't say "i think about you all the time" if I was truly happy with my current man. maybe she is wondering if she made the right decision?

 

but, seeing as how she's married with 2 kids, I don't think it's a good idea to track her down and talk to her about it.

 

I guess if she wants you badly enough, she could find you again and talk to you.

 

good luck

[tylercdurden2004]

Hmm interesting. That certainly beats anything exes have said to me. I agree with Annie24 in that mayeb she is wondering if she made the right decision. I think alot of people "just" get married with out really thinking about the future. How else do we have a 50% divorce rate. She may have thought it the right thing maybe even felt some pressure to get married and now is thinking "jeez".

[kadvati79]

Question: If you were happily married would you say that to your ex?

Would you say that to your ex period.

Why? Cause fantasy beats reality hands down. Period. Fantasy is the trump card of human desire. You represent a life she could of had, one she gave up on. The life she has now is imperfect, but the fantasy built on the times when she was with you when you were both young, free of the responsibilities and complications that come with getting older, is perfect in her mind.

 

Very interesting post.

[Jersey21]

Thank you guys so much. I would never try to contact her but I would give anything to sit in traffic with her again and tell her how I feel.

[kadvati79]

Thank you guys so much. I would never try to contact her but I would give anything to sit in traffic with her again and tell her how I feel.

I'd rather push my ex into traffic... but then... thats just me

[Pippa]

Wow! First of all, - how do you know after 7 years that she is happily married?

 

Trying not to read to much into this, but life does present some awkward coincidences.

 

I think after 6 years, that is a long time, and a good time to catch up. However it will be really hard if the feelings are still there, but what a way to meet? Do you think this is fate? A second chance or am I over analysing this situation?

 

"I think about you all the time", is a nice thing to say. I d be chasing after her like in the movies. Then again thats the movies.

[cingularity83]

what if she really meant it.......?

[Pippa]

Hey, stop it the7mcs lol

 

what if she really meant it.......?

You`re worse than me over analysing stuff. I don`t think she meant it. Six/seven years is a long time, and if she never stopped thinking about him, then at least she would have got in touch, or pulled over to talk to him.

 

Nah.....its all pleasantries. Thats all!

[Jersey21]

I can only assume they are happy..I have no idea. Oh and she meant it alright, the look in her face was the same one she uses to tell you she loves you. I know that look I've seen it a billion times. It's WHAT she meant that kills me, she's either sorry for what she did and feels a little guilt and wishes only the best for me. Or her marriage is rocky and might have felt some regrets.

The reason we didnt pull over was because of me, I was following a coworker to a job site. I would have asked her to pull over if it happened again because now I cant stop wondering what she meant by it. At the time I was over her remember, and I didnt even think of it. You have to understand it was about a minute of traffic but the odds of lining up side by side are like a million to one.

 

I'm also thinking that the reason she wouldn't try to contact me is because she's married and happy or not its what it is. Besides she dumped me so hard and at the worst time (my last semester at college) she would feel somewhat hesitant to even call my folks place for my #. Very loyal woman and would never risk her marriage to call or send a letter telling me how she felt.

Ever since I saw her I cant stop thinking about her, and what she meant by it. And it sucks! I will never know if she isnt happy and I never took the chance to find out. The crazy thing is Im a good looking cat with zero problems meeting girls, but for what its worth this girl has gotten a hold of my head again and she probably only meant it to be nice and cordial. She's one of those really nice people that always say the right thing. Regardless of what she meant it must have taken courage to say it to me knowing how hard I tried to win her back. Funny how all of this seems like yesterday since I ran into her. Wonder if she's going thriugh the same thing. She will never know how much I still think of her as well. And after so many failed attempts so many years ago I cant image she would think I would be interested in her again.

[Jersey21]

I should just take it and run. Having a married ex girlfriend who thinks about you all the time no matter how she meant it is the best feeling when you think about her all the time.

[annie24]

I should just take it and run. Having a married ex girlfriend who thinks about you all the time no matter how she meant it is the best feeling when you think about her all the time.

 

LOL - you are funny!!!

 

you are joking, right?

[Jersey21]

Well, I was drinking when I wrote that. I think what I meant to say is, it beats wondering if she even thinks about me at all after all these years. It beats acting like she was busy or flat out not noticing me in traffic. And best of all it beats the hell out of me being the one that says something like that. 7 years ago I would have said something like that, not to mention all the other stupid things you say when you try to win your girlfriend back.

 

It's probably best if I never find out what she meant. Tell you one thing I feel good, although seeing her made me think of her non stop I had a different dream/nightmare of her for the first time in seven years. The dream was always the same, we are in love and everything is perfect but she leaves me and I wake up, with the worst mood no less. A week ago I dreamt I was with her but the part about breaking up never came, In fact we spoke as if it never happened. I still woke up in a bad mood because I didnt want it to end.

 

To answer your question Annie24, I guess I'm not kidding, maybe I'm a damaged young man but I feel like I should take it like a pat in the back.

[annie24]

LOL - I see what you're saying.

 

Yeah, don't overanalyze it too much. But it's good she said that to you, as opposed to throwing a milkshake at your car, or whatever. I can't guarantee I wouldn't do that to some of my exes

 

Anyways... onward and upward....

[Jersey21]

Yeah...onward and upward is right. Thanks everyone for your help I should have been here long ago.

[poetsheart]

Wow, what a message. I think she hasn't gotten over you, not really and is regretting what may have happened, if she said something like that, but if she is married and she does have two children then it's better just to keep on living your life.... You don't know if she is happy with her current life, if she was, why would she say that... exactly. Also, can you be sure they were her children? - People transport other peoples children all the time)...

 

I personally believe if someone says "I think about you all the time" means that somewhere deep in their heart, they haven't moved on.... and are wondering what could have been.. maybe a few regrets, wishful thinking etc...

 

Good luck.... Keep strong.

[Jersey21]

Thank you it feels good!

 

I know the kids are hers because when I noticed them I looked at her and said wow, or holy crap and she said I know as if to tell me "can you believe it"

 

I'll tell you this much she was happy with me (up until the last 6 months) we went out for 7 years (19-26). One year later she called me to tell me she was engaged and that they bought a house, tough to swallow but wished her well. If you ask me it was rushed but that's me. I don't know if she's happy I just assume she is. Never heard from her again until I ran into her two weeks ago. No doubt in my mind she has regrets but as everyone said, you don't say that to your ex when you are marrried unless there is a problem. You don't say that without wondering how the other person will react. I'll be honest with you, up until about 4 years ago I always thought she would let me know something, anything that showed she was actualy my girlfriend for 7 years. So after all these years it may have not been as clear cut as "I miss you" but it comes pretty close and bit too late. Life has once again demonstrated it's funny twists, it's a closure thing. In the movies this is when I'm supposed to chase after the girl I always loved and has always loved me......in the movies though.