fear of commitment

[sg23]

say if someone has a fear of commitment,what kind of signs might they show with someone that he/she likes?? let me guess they won't show any signs? lol just act nervous around the person?

[monkey1]

i'm not sure i know what your question is ... fear of commitment and just liking someone (aka attraction) are different.

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

Well, I have a fear of commitment. Not because I want to play the field, but because I am afraid of getting hurt and rejected. When I really like someone, I pretend I don't like them at all. I don't call, don't text, im..etc. I act aloof. I may call like..once and then I fear that I've acted too clingy. I can't say that's how other people act, but that's how I roll.

[kittenmoomoo]

When I really like someone, I pretend I don't like them at all.

 

Why do guys do that?

[highonyou]

sweet jebas! my bf does that! but then i know what he's like and it doesnt bother me now.

 

have you ever stopped to think that by freaking out that you may have acted too clingy, u may be doing the exact opposite, and making the person you like feel rejected?

 

its not that great a feeling only getting a short call once a week or less!

[hopelesslee]

I know how that is, but I do it too...and I'm a girl. For me it's because I am afraid of being too clingy, because that is my natural instinct. So then if I feel like the guy isn't putting in as much effort as before, I will just stop communicating with him completely because I'm afraid I'm being too clingy/needy.

 

Basically what I've discovered is that, at least in the early stages of a relationship, playing hard to get on both parts is necessary to maintain some sort of interest level/challenge for the couple. Later on in a relationship (say, after a month or two) stupid mind games should be dropped lol...but never completely. (because who wants to just forfeit anyway...?)

[Tigris]

Instead of playing games and worrying about being rejected you should just enjoy the relationship and have fun and see where it leads.

 

I'd hate to think that everyone missed being with their soulmates because of doing things like this.

[sg23]

could fear of commitment cause a person to be indecisive with their actions by going back and forth?? this girl that I like has fear of commitment,which she didn't tell me face to face,where actually I notice it on her myspace page lol she has one of those surveys and one question is biggest fears and she put commitment. not saying this is the case with me or not just wanting your opinions anyhow on this topic.

 

anyway she and I work with each other,where I only see her at work and talk off and on,on myspace. recently I have gain this feelings for her and the problem is she's leaving for college soon which is 2 hours away from here. like what should I do. haha I decided to send her a myspace message just spilling my feelings yet keeping it cool just because she is leaving soon and no time to start anything if she were to be interested. she read my message last tuesday and has let to respond back to it. at work since she's been back and forth with me. where at times she doesn't say anything to me and seems distant. when i'm near her at times IN MY OPINION she seems jumpy,uncomfortable...well whatever the right term to use here. other times she'll talk to me by saying hi,bye this and that in a nice friendly tone. yeah it's confusing haha