What did you hate about your ex?

[Karibo]

So you find yourself thinking about you ex alot. Some of you might want them back, some of you might just want to get over them and move on. Either way, there was a reason why it ended and I think it's important not to just remember the good times, as this distorts your memory of them.

 

So what did you hate about your ex? What did they do to hurt you so much? What really bugged you about them? And why wouldn't you get back with them?

 

I'll reply with my answers as an example.

[Karibo]

- I hated the way he blamed everything on others and his past.

- I hate the way he was full of excuses.

- He never took resposibility

- He was cruel to me because he couldn't handle that someone did actually like him

- I hate the way he was so selfish and out to get all he could from me

 

- He hurt me by pushing and pulling me

- He hurt me by telling me he loved me then kissing other women right infront of me

- He hurt me by needing me but not being strong enough to make the effort to respect me and see what i wanted

- I was devestated when he threatened me with violence

 

- He was depressed

- He was addicted to drinking

- He was addicted to women and getting approval

- He was insecure

- He was disloyal, not just to me but to his friends and even his family

 

- i deserve much better

- I deserve a grown-up person

- I deserve someone who respects me

- ineed someone who respects himself

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Always changing stories, and his future plans, for either tomorrow or next year...talk, talk, talk...

 

Unreliable.

 

Words not consistent with actions.....talk, talk, talk.....

 

Drinks too much....

 

Too many obligations and entanglements to too many people.....

[shamus]

Always looking to replace me

going on online dating sites, yet always accusing me of cheating

pretending to be my friend then dumping me when she made new friends

lying to me

never accepting responsibility for her actions

saying she loved me when she didnt

always starting fights with me

calling me names all the time ie... if i talk to a guy at the dog park, or pig if a girl asks me a simple question

never being straight with me

taking my feelings for granted

[miserableme]

Things I hated:

-he drank, smoked and did a lot drugs

-he gambled his pay away every week

-he never kept promises

-unreliable

-irresponsible

-cheap

-Just about everyone in his life was above me

-lazy

-bad dresser

-liar

-overweight and blamed me for it

-couldn't look after himself

-slave to his parents

-he only shaved once a week and always wanted to kiss my neck

-his appologies seemed to real-they weren't

-he would spend an hour in the bathroom every morning, just to get away from me.

-he wasn't very smart, in fact he was barely literate.

-he would only eat terrible food

-he would take, take, take and never give

-never finish anything he started

-he'd ask me to come over and then not be there until 3 in the morning

-he was a bad driver

-for 3 years I went to his house 3-4 times a week and he lived 45 minutes away. He came to my house no more than 10 times.

 

What I loved about him:

-he was the first person to tell me they loved me.

 

Why wouldn't I get back with him

-self explanatory

 

Believe it or not, he broke up with me!

[Spugly Fuglet]

The only thing I hate is the fact she pulled me apart befor throwing me away just so she could feel better, shame on her for that and she was soooooo wrong.

[shelly7]

• it took him to realize he loved me after he lost me
  
• he lied
  
• he cheated (but we were on a "break") technically he claims that wasn't cheating
  
• not taking responsibility for his actions (see above)
  
• I always craved more affection than he seemed to give
  
• He's not financially responsibile
  
• immature
  
• has commitment issues
  
• selfish
  

Oh and I feel like this might be the longest, break up in history, because he's not strong enough to let me go

[Belle]

• liar.
  
• took me for granted.
  
• only wanted me when I rejected him.
  
• selfish.
  
• neglectful.
  
• worked hard to get me but when on auto-pilot once he thought he "had" me.
  
• covered in tattoos.
  
• smoked pot (never around me).
  
• had no real life ambition.
  
• wishy washy.
  
• immature.
  
• didn't get me.
  
• kept trying to change things about me.
  
• shoved me hard once when I gave him a playful love bite.
  
• never took me on a real date.
  
• doesn't "get it".
  
• lacks common sense.

When I look at it in black and white, I don't quite understand why I was so crazy about him to begin with. He wasn't at all what I was looking for.

 

I wouldn't get back with him because it didn't work the first two times we tried. I deserve better than someone who writes check his a.. can't cash.

[ftc]

- friends that he had

- unreliable

- materialistic

- destructive

- the way in which he would swindle his way out of me being angry at him

- breaking my heart

- negative reinforcement

- how he made it so i could never be angry at him

- saying the right things at the right time

 

there are also a lot of things that i loved about my ex. as bad as some relationships are, i think they shape us into better people and change us (hopefully for the better as a person). so thanks to our ex's for teaching us not to make the same mistake again

 

 

 

[Orlander]

- Had little passion in life and tried to fill that void by becoming born again Christian.

- Lied to me about her willingness to accept my personal religious beliefs

- Apparently she was easily manipulated and led

- Strung me along for 6 months after our breakup, saying there was a good chance we would get back together

- The hair on her chinny chin chin

 

Orlander

[AwdreeHpburn]

The one ex i think about at all I hated because he was a stringer-alonger. He was non commital and didn't really like me.

 

I hate him for not liking me when he knew I liked him.

 

Most recent ex was just a not very intelligent pot head. Glad he's gone.

[AwdreeHpburn]

- The hair on her chinny chin chin

 

Orlander

 

 

LOL That's priceless!

[Majoraslayer]

- The constant lying to her friends to make me look bad so they would support her cheating on me.

- Taking out her personal problems on me.

- Telling me she loved me when she didn't.

- Flirting with every guy she came in contact with and going with whoever would take her.

- Backstabbing; she could kiss me and smile and talk to the guy she was cheating on me with on the phone minutes later.

- Complete self-centeredness; I was near suicide from all the pain, she knew about it, and STILL continued going around behind my back.

- Inability to take responsibility for her own actions; all of her problems were always someone else's fault.

- The lesbian porn I found on her computer and she couldn't justify with any kind of reasonable lie.

- The constant pain and heartache of her letting me put everything into the relationship while she sat back and took without giving.

- The cold way she could do all of this to me, and still try to hurt me when I found new relationships.

- The way she used me for rides around town and money, then dumped me when her friends started giving her rides to see other guys (she can't drive at 18 ).

- Her hygiene (she showered weekly, and her room was just mountains of personal belongings strewn in the floor).

- Her friends (or at least all but two that I'm talking to right now ^_~).

- The fact that just under three years together, and a loss of virginity together, never meant the slightest bit to her.

[Silentlyfor]

- She lied to me although now I forgive her

- She made me think she was happy when she clearly wasn't

- She has a very annoying laugh

- She is very arrogant.

- She doesn't have much of a personality

- She takes what she wants out of every situation and doesn't give back

- She makes you feel less than her by saying nasty and degrading things

- She took things way too fast and has no real grasp of reality.

- She was kinda fat and her teeth were crooked.

- She lacked confidence in herself without a man in her life.

- She was not simple enough.

[Daddy Bear]

she reads all of my posts *sigh* so i don't want to lay it all out here. look for my upcoming autobio, "A Million Little Abuses (and Counting)".

[enivel]

-She would drink too much, pick fights with me and then blame me for it and never admit she is impossible to get along with when she drinks

-Calling me every night to complain about work without being able to relax, then getting mad at me when I asked her if she could try to deal with some things internally

-Asking for a lifetime commitment and then being unwilling to consider giving me two weeks of the year to travel with me (away from the kids), even though I'd be living away from my family

-Not trusting me the ONE time I actually went out with friends she didn't know

-Not showing appreciation when I did try to bond with her children

-Never admitting that she's wrong about anything, and constantly raising her voice to intimidate

-Lack of conversation outside of every day events, i.e. politics, traveling

-Telling me tons of details about her day then getting mad at me when I couldn't remember them

-Her dysfunctional screaming at her kids constantly, including in public places, and refusing to change when I told her it was embarrassing

-She is still friends with someone who hates men, the same woman who walked out on her lease a few years ago

-Accusing me of being quiet but rarely appreciating my opinions, knowledge, or help in any situation

-Again the drinking think, and picking fights

[joyce1412]

- he acted like i was being an emotional burden for getting upset about HIS lie and for not standing up for me during times i needed him.

 

- he never made the time to support me in my interests or hobbies, yet i was always expected to attend his functions, even when i had to move around my own schedule, my own life.

 

- he didn't feel it was too important to hang out with my friends, but i always had to hang out with his.

 

- sometimes i would tell him about problems and he would make a complete joke out of it, make me sound silly.

 

- when we were out, he would drag me by the hand when we were walking...him in front, me in back. total tom cruise-katie holmes, dominant-submissive action. UGH! it was DISGUSTING! I HATED IT! HAAAAATED IT!

 

- he broke up with me and was an all-around jerk about it. that's reason enough.

 

man, i need to stop. i have an email sitting in my inbox from him right now that i was dying to respond to so i could chew him out. but i've refrained. and will refrain. SIGH.

[amazing_wierdo]

Always putting me at the bottom of the list.

Abandoning what little morals she had if it cost her any inconvenience. Then resuming as if she never went back on what she "stands by."

Being a hypocrite.

Being a liar.

Always dragging me down.

Complaining that I didn't get her good enough gifts. Sometimes I would spend $200 on her while she would get me a $10 gift. It wasn't the price difference, it was the ungratefulness that bothered me.

Never being thankful for ANYTHING.

Demanding to be 100% in control of any situation, and throwing a tempertantrum when she didn't get her way.

Never striving or working towards anything.

Begging people for handouts (money, attention, stuff, whatever).

Not caring about any of my dreams.

Blaming me for her being unhappy and blaming me for problems she created.

Attempting to use me as her backup guy while she goes crazy and runs off to NYC.

Being a racist.

Not letting me talk to other women without her becoming overly threatened and jealous.

Never attempting to grow.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Things I hated:

-he only shaved once a week and always wanted to kiss my neck

 

 

That's icky and pokey!

[Aurian]

- He blamed me or my family for everything wrong in his life. Even to the paranoid extremes like us preventing him from getting a job or me hacking his computer just because he got hacking attempts when he was online.

 

- He wanted me to change everything about myself, even the things he once said he loved. He put down my sense of humour, wanted me to be emotionless (while he could rant and rave all he liked), complained about my art subjects, frowned when I bought myself books, called my gaming hobby an addiction and wanted me to stop being impulsive, trusting and open.

 

- He called me a fat pig (even though he wasn't in shape himself), lazy and selfish because I wasn't what he wanted me to be yet, emotional and dramatic because my feelings were hurt when he didn't bother to show up for a date HE set up not once, but twice in a row, called me a piece of sh*t hundreds of times.

 

- He didn't show me any love or affection. When I said I missed sharing love and affection and flirting, he said I was sick and just looking for an ego-stroking I didn't deserve.

 

- He rejected me over and over. My gifts to him were sick bribes to accept insane me. He ripped up our wedding pictures. He broke the gifts I sent him. He laughed at me when I tried to be intimate with him. He called me sick and dramatic when I tried to share my feelings with him. He didn't ask how I was doing when I was sick, he didn't bother to say anything when I had half of my hair cut off, and didn't give me anything for our anniversaries or Valentine's day.

 

- He cut me off from people. He would throw screaming fits if I visited my family alone on my own time. I started to lie to him about it, and things got worse. I had to see him wave a knife in my face, hold it against his neck and threaten to kill himself if I didn't cut my family out of my life. His demands made me withdrawn and depressed and I didn't see my friends anymore.

 

- Nothing I did was right. I try be intimate with him, he verbally slaps me in the face and then complains that we don't have intimacy. I get sick easily, he said he didn't want to hear me "whine" about it, so I stopped talking about it. Then he got upset that I didn't tell him I was sick. He claimed he wanted and equal, yet whenever I opened my mouth about anything that wasn't about hockey, he shut me down by calling me stupid, emotional, dramatic, sick, insane, etc.

 

- He would scream divorce at me every time I did something he didn't like. He even screamed it at me and left when I made a comment about a soccer game he didn't like! Another time he called me worthless, insane, sick and said that fate is punishing him with me and that he had to keep me. That he wouldn't allow a divorce because I was too sick to inflict myself on someone else.

 

- Two years of this and I filed for divorce. I hate him most for telling me all the sudden that I am wonderful, funny, smart, beautiful, loving, etc, and that he was a moron for doing this to me, and he wanted me back again. I still love him, but I can't take his garbage anymore.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Aurian yours sounds like a total jerk!

[Belle]

Jeez Aurian. You dodged a bullet. I hope you can rebuild your esteem from this creep who was just trying to keep you down so you wouldn't leave him.

[miserableme]

That's icky and pokey!

 

Yeah, this was also the guy who loved performing oral sex and wondered why I wouldn't let him do it.

 

It felt like someone was * * * * *ing me with a thousand needles.

[miserableme]

haha it won't let me type p-r-i-c-k

[lilgothicdevil5533]

hmmm...there are sooooooooooo many reasons as to why i hate my ex...

1. he didnt care about my life or feelings

2. he cared about tv more then me

3. he lied

4. all he cared about was sex

5. he went out with his ex girlfriend behind my back

6..lots of other things