Attraction at work

[Santa]

Normal signs of attraction seem to not always be appropriate in the workplace, so my question is, what kind of signs should I be looking for from a co-worker to display attraction?

 

If it helps, I work mainly with women in a trendy bar.

[scatcatfhsu]

I don't know if this will help, but to me, trying to find attraction in the workplace among co-workers is kind of difficult. I mean, in most cases, you just kind of "grow" so close to everybody that it is almost like family, and you'd miss any sure signs that might come along.

 

However, if you work in different areas of the bar (or what have you), one sign that I have ALWAYS been confused about (that seems kind of logical) is if somebody makes eye contact and stuff with you OFTEN. There's this guy that I work with that is VERY QUITE and just sort of stays to himself, but a girl that started about two months ago seems to always find a way (or at least that is my viewpoint to see him). Now when she does, she never really says anything, she just keeps the smile and maintains the eye contact. He's a great guy but it takes him quite a while to open up to anybody. And maybe he has something on me, you know? Maybe he just sort of seems mysterious to these girls and it pulls them in.... Anyways, it's all over the office (among the women folk, at least) that she does have some interest in him. I noticed yesterday (I work in the same office with him) that she walked right by our office (on a different floor) looking for one of her female co-workers - walked into the next office past us, and walked back by and (with his back turned) made sure to take a quick gaze in his direction. So, yeah, I think something exists for her, but maybe it just is the "mystery" and all. I know that the office tried to set up a lunch between him and her (as their positions are SOMEWHAT inter-related) and he couldn't make it but did respond that he would like to some other day and after receiving a response that she'd love to go, he received another that said "she wanted to wait until a time when another younger female co-worker could go along". Maybe they both sort of see something in him? Who knows? But you still have to take the looks with a grain of salt because, heck, we're going to LOOK at a lot of people. So maybe it's just knowing (from what I hear) that she does have an interest -- or maybe walking by our office or at least taking the opportunity to look him over means something...

 

I'm REALLY INTERESTED IN hearing more about this from you people as well... I'd love to ask her out, but I'm afraid of two things:

 

1) Knowing I work with somebody she seems to have an interest in, she may only want to use me to try and get "closer" to him.

 

2) What if she has a boyfriend? It seems to me that if she did have one, she may have never agreed to go with him (even with somebody else) when he asked. And he DID ASK ON HIS OWN. Plus, going to the trouble of telling him the exact reasons why she wasn't able to go with him on that day seems sort of like she didn't want him to think it was a NO.

 

Any help on all of this?

[scatcatfhsu]

Oh, the gaze wasn't that quick. She just walked by and (while walking) made a constant look in his direction until past our door... She never even acknowledged my side of the office.

[_Tiki_]

Good question! I hope you get more replys.

[ska13]

to me, the whole "gazing' thing isnt really all worth that much in the workplace as it seems. At my job there is this girl that, to me, seems to 'gaze' at me often, ill be working in my area and notice her looking over. perhaps my case is different but it seems that its just out of her boredom. dont get me wrong we get along well, joking around and such but she has a bf and though i would like it to be more it seems that some of the 'gazing' is just to pass time rather then illistrate something more. just my input