Well I told her...

[picsite]

Ok so there has been this girl I've liked for a while and two days ago I just came out and told her. She replied, "I can't lie I saw it coming from the start and I really didn't know what to do because I didn't want to hurt you and it already happened with another friend and he stopped talking to me for a year and I didn't want the same thing to happen with you. And I'm really sorry that I let it go for this long and I tried to hold back from doing anything with ****(the guy she likes) because I knew it would hurt you. And i really didn't want it to happen like this*. Then she went on a bit more with the apologizing and said that it would hurt her if i stopped talking to her and kicked her out of my life becuz she didnt like me back like that and only as a friend. "

 

*When I told her I mentioned that I noticed about this other guy thats what she mentions that she didnt want it to happen like this.

 

I replied back that I want to stay friends. And then the stupidest thing happened, I had to get off my computer and go to sleep because of parents. So we really havent talked about it since then, I txted her telling her why i left but thats it. Yesterday I talked to a mutual friend and he said that she didnt feel like our talk was over and she didn't know how to bring up the topic when talking to me, so I was thinking that because I feel the same way I would try to bring it up today or tomm becuz I think today she has somethin in the evening. And shes taking summer school and midterms are this friday so it may even have to wait until then.

 

When we do talk I don't really know what to say....any suggestions...

[randiandriien]

I think I'm kind of confused. She likes you and you like her, but she doesnt know you like her? Or you told her that you do like her and then she responded with what you had in your post?

[itsallgrand]

Hmm. Well, I don't really see why you need to talk about this more unless you want to listen to her unburdening her guilt on you?

 

You each know where the other stands. If I were you, when you next talk, I would simply act normal.

If she begins to go on about all the reasons why she only likes you as a friend, how bad she feels, all her worries, I'd simply say

"It is okay. I understand, and you don't need to explain it. You feel how you feel. Friends?" and a smile and a friendly joke or something.

 

Girls often have a difficult time making it clear from the beginning that they only want to be friends. Probably 'afraid to hurt feelings' , yet it ends up in awkward situations like this! Later, it becomes easier.

 

That's my advice. No more need for big talks. You know how she feels - it would do you well to get a little space so you can deal with the hurt.

Don't worry about her.

[Dating Coach]

She likes you as a friend but isn't interested in you romantically?

 

If you can do the friend thing and still move on emotionally then do it, but as with most guys in your situation, you will not be able to move on if you continue to hang around her and talk with her as friends. You will start looking for little things she does that will give you hope that she changed her mind (and she won't) and it will only continue to keep you from moving on and meeting someone who is romantically interested in you. I've seen it happen a hundred times.

 

Obviously you've been digging her for some time if she already knew you liked her, which tells me that not only did you wait far too long to ask her out, but when you finally did it you confessed your feelings (which is drama and boring!) rather than simply asking her out on a date.

 

Next time you meet a girl and you think you might be interested, you need to ask her out on a date within the first few meetings of her. Girls decide pretty quickly whether or not they are interested in you and the longer you wait and the more you play the "friend" role, then all you will ever be is "just friends", as what happened here. Why waste all of that time being friends before getting the nerve to make a move when you can find out what her answer was the entire time within only 3 meetings? Plus it doesn't hurt as much being rejected by someone who is still a relative stranger as opposed to your bestest friend?

 

I suggest you read the first link in my sig.

[picsite]

I think I'm kind of confused. She likes you and you like her, but she doesnt know you like her? Or you told her that you do like her and then she responded with what you had in your post?

 

I liked her and she didn't really feel the same way about me and I knew it but kept quiet and so did she and then in class one day she randomly started crying because of the mess she was in about hurting me and she was really upset on more than one occasion and crying and it really hurt me to see her like that so I hoped to help stop that by telling her.

[ancalagon]

She does the same thing to two guys at once and even knows she's doing it...sounds like a drama queen who enjoys doing this for personal excitement. If she's only interested in you as a friend then randomly crying is a bit melodramatic.

[Fivek]

It doesn't matter what she thinks dude, stop talking to her and move on. She'll rope you in again if you play this friends BS. Good lessons to be learned here.

[picsite]

It doesn't matter what she thinks dude, stop talking to her and move on. She'll rope you in again if you play this friends BS. Good lessons to be learned here.

 

thats the thing...once the summers over I will see her EVERYDAY and will probably have her in most of my classes because we're in this AP kind of thing...so ignoring her may not be the best option plus a lot of her friends are mine too so it won't be easy to just let her out of my life. Thats why I want to try the friends thing...

[Dating Coach]

I notice that nearly every guy in this situation always says that he cannot stop with a girl because he sees her everyday. I swear every post similar to this one that I've read recently has the same excuse.

 

You don't have to flat out ignore her, but treat her like you treat anyone else. No favors, no initiated conversations, just as some random person that sits next to you. That's it. Be indifferent.