kellbell Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Nope, I did not contact any of my ex's to wish them Happy Birthday. Nor do I expect them to contact me. I expect nothing from my ex's and I sure hope they do not expect anything from me. Link to comment
pablovblack Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Let me chime in, My ex was my first Girlfriend together for 5 years and 3 Months, She left me three months ago and her birthday is in 1 month, She is 21... If I do not get her a card to wish her well on her 21st I will never forgive myself, I love her more than she will ever know, More so now we are not together as I understand her more. She deals with things by not facing them head on and thereforeeee she shut me out, But that does not mean I dont want to wish her Happy Birthday, I know she would appreciate it even if she doesnt want me in her life. She will always remember me doing it and I think it takes a man to be able to offer you congratulations without expecting anything back in return. On the 26th of August my ex will get a card from me her first boyfriend and I will not expect anything in return, Why should I, she left me and it was my fault. Im not bitter, just wanting to wish her some thanks and to remind her why she loved me and why I loved her in the first place cos you cant take that away... Im just not bitter anymore, its her 21st, what kind of man would I be to pretend she doesnt exist and pretend that I no longer care, I would just be fooling myself. CRVRS: Do what is in your heart but do it on your own terms and expectations.... Link to comment
NJRon Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Pablovblack, I can totally identify with you. The same reason I sent my ex a card (and the same revelation when she left). Link to comment
brando Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 CRVRS: Do what is in your heart but do it on your own terms and expectations.... Nice post pablovblack. This pretty much sums it up. Link to comment
crvers Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Im just not bitter anymore, its her 21st, what kind of man would I be to pretend she doesnt exist and pretend that I no longer care, I would just be fooling myself. CRVRS: Do what is in your heart but do it on your own terms and expectations.... I guess the bottomline is I'm still bitter. I'm pretty much over the relationship and her being apart of my life that way. I am over the fact she is dating someone, and how it happened so quickly. BUT I am not over everything that has happened that has transpired since the breakup. In my heart I feel she doesn't deserve anything from me. That I gave her enough when she left. That she took enough when she left. And as much as I want to do the right thing in my head, my heart says don't. So I don't think I will. She has someone else now to make her feel good on her birthday, and at the end of the day it isn't me. So we'll just leave it at that. No need for reminders, cards, or gifts. NC 3 months will not be broken for this. Its still too early. And if she does care, I hope she could find it in her to understand my reasoning. Link to comment
kellbell Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Chris, "She has someone else now to make her feel good on her birthday, and at the end of the day it isn't me." This an excellent point and a lot of truth in it. NC all the way. So what if she expects it, does not mean you have to. I am proud of how far you have come. Hang in there and keep up the good work. Link to comment
pablovblack Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 She has someone else now to make her feel good on her birthday, and at the end of the day it isn't me. There you go thats all you needed to say, Good luck. Link to comment
crvers Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Thanks Pablov and Kellbell. It really is hard to believe its been 6 months. 6 months over all this. Incredible how the time flies when so much drama is surrounding your life. Still can't believe all this has happened, but hopefully I am in a better place now in my life, and better equipped for things to come. Its also hard to believe 6 months ago kellbell you were telling em to leave the poor girl alone. Funny how that all worked out...lol. Ugh. Link to comment
kellbell Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Yes, I still believe you should. You made mistakes, she made mistakes. That is how life works and then we move on. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 If you're thinking is ranging between "Should I send her something to show I am the better person" and "Should I not send her something to punish her" then you are in the wrong state of mind to do anything at all. If it were my birthday, what would be going through your head when thinking about wishing me happy birthday? This is how I feel..... Link to comment
broken-hearted Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 From what i understand, she doesnt deserve it, so i wouldnt send her anything, first because you are not really in a state to have a friendship with her so she might misunderstand it, secondly she lied and commited mistakes and never appoligized for them, thirdly she has to know that she is not in your thoughts and that you have moved strongly on and managed to cut her of and be independent. I was in an exact similar situation around 3 months ago, i chose not to send anything, i am very happy that i didnt. Link to comment
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