A few Minor unresolved issues...should I break NC?

[starbursts23]

Hi Everyone:

 

Anyone who needs to know my full story can check out the threads: "Wanting this love to work" and "Day 5 of NC...very sad, feel worse". Both are by me, starbursts23.

 

Now, onto the issues. I haven't mentioned this, but my ex and I actually share a phone plan with our cell phones. We always each paid our part of it every month. Currently, I am trying to think of ways to separate his part from mine (we should each have our own). He owes me about $100 right now towards the last bill, and after the next one comes in next week, will owe me more. I am worried about the cost of separating our phone bills. I can't really afford a lot since I support myself (I live with roommates). If any of you on here are from Canada you might appreciate this when I say that Rogers AT&T Wireless rips people off when it comes it to money issues. Another factor is we just upgraded our phones and started a new 3-year plan in May. AHHHH! Any advice on what I should do about this?

 

Also, about a week before our relationship ended, my ex broke his hand. He, as far as I know, still has a cast on it. I still love him and miss him every day, but the point here is, i am concerned about him and I hope he is okay. i don't, however, know if I can handle talking to him at this point. I just know I'll get all emotional and ask him for things he won't give me, at least right now. I have a good relationship with his mom, so I am thinking about phoning her just to see how he is. I know his mom will be honest and up front with me. That's just the way she is. What do you guys think?

 

So far, I am now on Day 9 of NC. He hasn't called or anything and neither have I. Most days I think I will wait for him to call (to avoid my getting emotional), and other days I want to. Please advise me, anyone, about this.

 

Thanks,

 

starbursts23

[robowarrior]

Its actually easy. Give up your phone entirelly. The times that you need to call, just use a phone boot, Or simply restrict yourself to a mobile phone, if you have a phone card, then you can restrain how much you spend on calling by maxing out how much money you are willing to spend on phone each month. He probably won't give you your money back, so you will have to take measures into your own hands. Its nice that you love him, but love doesn't magically make money appear on the table. You have your own costs, and you have to say 'STOP to here and no further', in order to change from someone who loves so much it hurts into someone who loves herself enough to stop the pain.

[starbursts23]

Hi,

 

Thanks to robowarrior for your advice. I will take that into consideration.

 

If anyone else has any advice, please let me know. I'm thinking seriously about calling his mother just to see how his hand is. (from my earlier post i aid it is broken).

 

Help! Does this qualify as breaking NC?

 

thanks

 

starbursts23

[brando]

not sure where you two are at, but i dont thin this NC applys to this. It is not a religion, so if you need to split bills up then contact him. It seems ex's tend to be selfish after a breakup, and simple considerations like monies owed is always cast to the wind. Keep it stirctly about the bills. If he is a big enough person he will oblige and take care of matters. You can also separate the accounts, by closing the joint and re-opening individuals or not.

 

Dont worry about the NC concept... keep this strictly business like. No more.