It's been over two years, and yet im in trouble.

[TearsofaDragon20]

Well enotalone,

 

 

It was two years ago i since been on the web site and shared my pain and me despearate time with all of you. I stopped coming on here after coming to find out that i need to think with myself and decided that i am the only one who can deal with the stress. It all began two years ago..............

 

 

 

 

I had just about gotten over my Ex-g\f and decided that i need to get out of town and to a new town where i needed to be out and about. I got a hold of my step brother and he came from another county to come and pick me up. It was around thanksgiving where i met this woman and i wasnt sure how to approch the situation at hand. So i decided what the the worst that could be done right? Well......i dont know. We decided that we should stay in contact (now mind you im 3 hours away from her) and we chatted all the time. Then it came to emails, more phone calls, and eventually her coming to see me at my house. We then decided that we should take this into a whole new level and become a couple. Now back then i was immauture, no job, bumming out around the house, and becoming nothing. Thats's when i was 21, Im now recently turned 24. This girl and i have been dating for 2 almost 3 years. We were happy for the longest time. But then tradgity hit my life real fast. It was July 31st, 2005 and had gotten myself ready for work and the usual routine. i havent heard from my mother in about 3 days and that was strange because she would call me every night or at lest by the beginning of the 2nd day to see how i was doing. So when you get no phone call you tend to feel strange about the situtaion. It was far worse than what i knew. I got a phone call from my brothers grandparents saying that i had to call my mothers ex-husband........REAL strange because my mother was the worst custody battle with him for the past 6 years and for him to be telling them that i needed to call it was "Important" kinda messed with me. So i called and received the most hard hitting news My mother was in a motorcycle accident, and was in ICU. wow. They didnt know what to tell me because the damage she took to her head was so extentsive she was brain dead when she was mercy flighted in.

 

 

Quite the news you want to get concerning your mother on the back of her boyfriends chopper, and a 150 lbs. Deer comes out and just by then hit the motorcycle that my mother was on. Yeah just lovley news. i was so distrought and pacing like a crazied maniac i had to go and see my mother. And it was worse than i was told. She sat there in ICU for a month. then she was transfred to a nursing floor. Then she got approved for an acute care room. My mother is still there to this very day until she leaves for taiwan wednsday. Ever since this happened ive been the worse person time would of seen. And my g\f and i are now looking at splitting up because of most of what is going on and we would get into arguments that i would say "get out and go, and pack your stuff." and last night i had a bad feeling about everything that had been going on i was losing everything with my g\f. Feeling and love and i was seeing her as my best friend and that she was better with out me. So when we broke up last night i had the worse feeling about telling her to go. And im now stuck with a situation that i know what to do. And i feel that i may not improve to love her, do what needs to be done to take care of her.

 

 

 

 

Well that's where it stops and where i sit now. She just left to go to her home town and let me figure out what i want to do and what my decison is. And i cant come up with what i want to do. im so confused in whether i want to be single or if i need to take all of what is going on right now and deal with it by myself. it killed me to know that i might let someone go who i put through so much and i gave so little to, that i would send her home with me telling her to go and be with her family. im stranded right now because i dont know what to do. She's a special kind of person but i feel im destroying the relationship because of my own events that i have going on right now. i have until monday to decided what i am going to do. Im still unable to see what i can choose. Maybe im just someone who is just not able to make his own decisons and cant do the right thing. im stuck and if someone knows what to depict from this story, power to you.

 

 

 

so that's what i face now in my life. And im damn sure that i dont know what to do.

 

 

 

 

Carlos

[agent1607307371]

Carlos I think it is very important that you get into see a therapist. You're going through an incredibly traumatic time and I think speaking to someone who can help you develop the tools to get through it would help your situation immensely.

[Momene]

When you have family tragedy you do need to back off a bit and you both need to understand this. I wouldn't "split" with someone unless I really meant it.

 

I'd say that you can't see her quite so much but if things don't return to "normal" after a few weeks, you shoudl make the split permanent.