A couple questions. Kind of between a cyber relationship and a friendship.

[Sam _]

I'm not really in a cyber relationship. But rather in between being in a cyber relationship and 'just friends'.

 

Me and this girl have been IM-ing eachother for the past year and around January she told me that she was starting to fall for me and I told her that I was starting to fall for her too. We flirt with eachother quite a bit and we talk about me moving over to the UK with her a lot and have talked about getting together.

 

I have a few questions about this entire thing. She sometimes IMs me while using her webcam, but I don't have a webcam and I'm too poor (as well as having a hard time getting a job to buy one). The only way she's seen me was through a photo of me that I sent her. Do I seem shady?

 

Are we doing something wrong? She has a boyfriend. I don't think he knows about me at all. Though I respect the fact she has a bf, I feel like we may be doing something wrong.

[Bethany]

Sam, by talking to a girl who has a BF, you're setting yourself up to be hurt. If you are starting to have feelings for her, you need to back off and so does she.

 

At the moment, you are and can only be on the other side of the screen and nothing can come of it unless she dumps him or cheats on him. Tell her how you feel about her having a BF and talking to you the way she does and say that it can't go on any longer. if she wants you both to have a future, she needs to be the same as you and thats single and free to meet.

Do this sooner rather than later because the deeper the feelings the longer and more painful the rejection lasts.

[Sam _]

We're planning on meeting, but all we know is that it won't be until 2008 (or later). We do try to keep it more on the friendship level until we meet (and are both single).

 

I can take rejection quite easily. I have been rejected an uncountable number of times more than not. So I'm used to it.

 

I think we're just joking around when it comes to the flirting. We both want a future together, but we agreed that we would just be friends until after we meet.

 

But, to be honest she's been in about maybe 4 relationships since we first talked. I'm not really too sure how to tell her I'm uncomfortable with this. Should I just tell her that I feel like I'm making her cheat on her boyfriend?

[Bethany]

But you are not making her do anything, she is doing all the cheating all by herself. You need to tell her that you think that you should talk and meet others girls in real life too until she decides you are worth being number one in her eyes. At the moment you are not, your second best to those other guys which isn't fair on YOU.

 

If I were you, I would keep this strictly friend and talk less, get out and meet other girls as she seems quite happy to meet other boys. Her actions talk louder than words at the moment I'm afraid.

 

And it does hurt like hell when you are rejected by someone you have deep feelings for, this forum is full of people just like that, so look after you and your heart before any girl.

[becky19891989]

jus read this an realised its all bout me. it really hurts tht u cudnt trust me 2 tlk 2 me bout this. i'm sorry if i made u feel this way. becky xx

[Batya33]

It sounds like something is trying to tell you that you are ready to connect with someone - what you are doing is counter-productive and sabotaging, but it shows that there is a part of you that wants to start dating. Take that sign and do something in the real world to further the goal of a real relationship. Good luck!