totally over it as in him as in it as in what was i thinking?

[walkingwithaghost]

hey, i am totally over my ex.

 

i posted about him a lot on here. he was a really unique type of screwed up person which is why i was so caught up (because he was so rare)... but i'm totally over him.

 

i thought i would announce that here (because my friends really don't need to know (plus a big part of getting over someone is to not talk about them at all with your friends) plus i think you all would understand more better) also i thought it might be nice to let you guys know what i did...

 

-don't talk about them with your friends AT ALL. this is probably the most important part of not being pathetic and hanging on to them. i was obsessed with him and would analyze every move and every random weird thing he would do. for the last month or so i haven't talked about him with people (i haven't even said his name) it went from me killing my friends with analyzing him, to them actually bringing him up.

 

 

-don't check his myspace/facebook or anything like that! don't do it! you will kill yourself and feel pathetic when some random girl or boy posts some dumb crap and you spend hours analyzing what it meant. i deleted him as a friend from myspace.

 

- do something positive for you. i joined a gym (i was always in good shape but lifting weights in cute outfits is way fun) also i got two jobs and am making pretty good money now. me and him used to work together and not working in that environment where i first met him helped some.

 

- stop going to low life hang outs. i stopped going to bars (we would always go out and get drunk as a dating ritual..lol). not going to bars and other divey places makes you feel a lot better about yourself. you dont expose yourself to that desperation of trying to be hot and meet someone. even though they say to meet new people, you don't need that when you're trying to get over someone. if you actively seek out new people that will only make you feel more pathetic and rejected when you just aquaint yourself with inopportune losers.

 

- a lot of people move cities when they get dumped. i moved back home at the end of the school year (because my lease was up.) at first i felt like a failure (as if i was hiding out in my parents house) but ultimatley being out of the city (of our relationship) has helped a lot. this is kind of a drastic step. maybe you can redecorate your place or avoid the spots you highly associate with your relationship... when getting over someone positive change is always empowering and good.

 

- i have kept his number in my phone. i used to think i might need it. but now its just there as a memory and decoration (and maybe i might need it haha) plus i can look at it and say " * * * * you i dont need this in my phone" .

 

i hope this has been helpful. i was extraordinarily obsessed with this guy. i think the most important thing to do to get over someone is to not feel pathetic. i felt like he was this artistic genius and i was some dime a dozen type sorority chick. so when things didnt work out i thought i would never find anyone so brilliant again. whatever. i also felt pathetic because he was so unique and i felt so mundane.

 

obsessing over the person will only make you feel more pathetic and desperate. do not talk about them with your friends. then your friends will know how much you want your ex and they'll treat you as such. and this will not be conducive to getting over that idea of yourself as needy and desperate. if you don't talk about him to your friends then your friends will treat you like someone who is not obsessed with some guy who dumped you. this is very important.

 

also you feel like you lost and rejected when you get dumped. each time you feel the urge to say something about him to your friends and you don't you can feel a little less pathetic and a little less rejected. because in a small way you rejected him or her by not boring your friends with stories about them.

 

that combined with new activities which will effect you positively are the most important things in moving on. in my case i have started working out more and began a new job. i would suggest that as the best things to concern yourself with right now.

 

i think if you try to go out and meet new people you will only feel more pathetic. you can meet people who will actually help you without looking for them..

[S4il]

BRAVO!!! \\

 

Doesn't it feel like your a new person!, Almost like a huge weight was Lifted off your shoulders, mind/spirt.

[Goldfish6888]

Thanks for all the advice!!! Big cheer!!!

 

XoXO