Confusing breakup.

[Turbo]

I met and fell in love with a man while he was on vacation with his family. We were together for two years and he was my first real love, but there was one problem. Distance. Somehow we made it last two years despite him living in England and me living in the United States.

 

Due to the distance and what I believe is a lack of trust both of us were highly jealous and posessive. Yet we still loved each other more than either of us could believe. After two years we had enough and called it quits. Though I still wanted to get back together and I did try for about a month and a half. Finally when he told me the last time it was over for good, I gave up and tried to move on.

 

I met a guy who lived closer to me. He fell in love with me. Wants to be with me, wants to have a future with me. All of the things I've always wanted, he wants with me.

 

My ex and I were continuing to fight about the breakup. He implied he was with a girl or there was something between him (a girl I had issues with shortly before the break up cause he always talked about her), so that's when I decided to give my recent boyfriend a chance. Only later did he tell me there was supposedly nothing between them. While the girl has feelings for him, I'm the only one HE wants. (His cousin and friends told me the same) I came clean with my ex and said I got with someone else, then he told me that he had wanted to get back together with me and got all upset.

 

I spoke with my current boyfriend about it and while he was a bit upset he was trying to be the best friend of mine that he became and give me friend advice. He told me to try to work things out with my ex, so I started the communication process. My ex said he wants to work things out but he is jealous and mad about the fact that I got with another guy. He said when we fight, he'd use it against me and he doesn't want to.

 

I have not thrown the fact that I'm with another guy in his face but he's constantly throwing other girls in my face since the breakup.

 

Everyone thinks my ex is just playing games and to an extent I agree. Why say you're in love with someone, you want to be with them, and you're willing to try to make it work, ut yet at the first sign of an obsticle you refuse to fight for it?

[robowarrior]

It wasn't a good idea to try to work things out. You see out of eye is out of heart. Long distance relationships only work out , if one of them decides to move out of their country and live together. Otherwhise a lot of misconceptions arise, you can't monitor what the other person is doing, and thereforeeee you never know wether that person is cheating on you or not, to that paranoia sinks in over the 'loyalty' of the partner. This is why over all Long distance relationships don't work out.

 

Because if you aren't together, you might as wel be separated in such a case.

 

Call it a quits with that guy, stop contacting , advice him only to move on with his life. Get yourself a guy in your circle of range that lies within your vicinity.

[Turbo]

It wasn't a good idea to try to work things out. You see out of eye is out of heart. Long distance relationships only work out , if one of them decides to move out of their country and live together. Otherwhise a lot of misconceptions arise, you can't monitor what the other person is doing, and thereforeeee you never know wether that person is cheating on you or not, to that paranoia sinks in over the 'loyalty' of the partner. This is why over all Long distance relationships don't work out.

 

Because if you aren't together, you might as wel be separated in such a case.

 

Call it a quits with that guy, stop contacting , advice him only to move on with his life. Get yourself a guy in your circle of range that lies within your vicinity.

 

We did have plans for me to move there as that's what I wanted. He wanted to move here but I didn't want to take him away from his family as he is more of a family person than I am.

 

I strongly believe relationships takes trust and for the most part I did trust him. There were times he was around girls and he was honest with me about them flirting with him or making a move. I didn't get jealous then. I only got jealous of the small/stupid stuff, which is strange to me.

[Riley99]

Turbo,

I'm in a very similar position as you. My ex and I had a wonderful, beautiful relationship until he moved away. We did long distance, it was tough, and he eventually broke up with me. After trying desperately to get back with him over the course of a few months, to no avail (and all the time he was encouraging me to date others), I finally found someone worthwhile. Then the ex popped back into the picture and said that he had wanted to get back with me but just hadn't said anything. He professed his undying love for me, said he wanted us to be together, get married, the whole works. I said I wasn't ready but would be if he gave me some time. When I was ready and finally committed to him, every time we argued about anything, he would bring up the new guy. His excuse was - if I loved him so much, how could I have moved on so quickly? I guess the point here is that the ex will use the "new guy" as a sword, regardless of the argument, regardless of who broke up with who, or anything. He told me, cognitively it makes sense why I moved on. But he can't help being hurt by it. I guess I understand that - the head is one thing, the heart is another. I know others in the same situation and the ex normally can't ever get over it.

 

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hope everything works out.

[Turbo]

He told me, cognitively it makes sense why I moved on. But he can't help being hurt by it.

 

My ex told me the same.

 

Ah, I'm not even going to dwell on him anymore. When we had first got together he had broke up with me on my birthday for flirting (Yes, we all know it's natural), with my best friend. The two years we were together he never let me forget that.

 

Just yesterday I find out that seven days after he broke up with me on my birthday, (We had got back together), he had flirted with someone. I don't know if there were times before that or many times after. I know of at least one time a year later as well.

 

I'm livid because he put me through hell and constantly punished me for flirting, only for me to find out in the end he had done the same.