He doesn't want to lose me but he doesn't want me either :(

[esboogie143]

How do I cope being in a situation like this? 6 months is too long but then again to others is a short period of time to commit. Not to sure about how this should work? Or should I suggest seeing other people? BUT once that happens it mightest well be over....im just so confused I cant even thingk straight!

[flower99]

Sorry just to clarify...you've been seeing him for 6 months and he's not ready to commit?

[esboogie143]

Yes 6 motnhs and doesnt want to commit to me but he says all the time how he doesnt want to lose me! Unbelievable! He said to me before how he doesnt want to get into anything or have any responsibilities....that was said a few months ago. He knows what I want but since im accepting the situation as is and killing myself inside hes taking everything for what its worth-----NOTHING! aND WE'RE SUPPOSEDELY "EXCLUSIVE" WITH ONE ANOTHER

[flower99]

oh, my....though one.

What kind of commitment are you looking for from him? he is exclusive with you? is he not referring to you as his gf or is there more?

 

either way 6 months is a fair amount of time to decied if he wants to be offical. He says he doesn't want to get into anything or have any responsibilities. I'd pay attention to that. Unless he's ready to give you what your heart needs to feel good in this relationship I'd hear what he says and take it as he's not the one for you. You obviously want a man that can make the commitment to you & KNOWS they want you as much as you want them- and You deserve that!!!

[RayKay]

I would say 6 months is more than enough time to know if you want to be "official" or not. You just want to be considered his girlfriend, not get married after all!

 

Sorry boogie, I stick to my earlier advice - it's time to break away from this guy. He just is not as into you as he should be, and you deserve better than that.

[RayKay]

So if he won't commit and it's over, is that such a bad thing? Do you really want to be in a "quasi relationship" for 80 more years with someone whom won't commit? If he can't call you his girlfriend after 6 months, do you think he would ever want to call you his fiancee or wife, or whatever?

[esboogie143]

u r all right! What frustrates me is that when we do go out and he takes me to functions with his fellow job friends he introduces me as his girl to everyone i meet but sadly i know im not and he just says taht b/c who knows why.. its just a sad situation that I allowed for myself to get into and now im the one thats hurt w/ no heart to pull out of it.....

[mba1]

u r all right! What frustrates me is that when we do go out and he takes me to functions with his fellow job friends he introduces me as his girl to everyone i meet but sadly i know im not and he just says taht b/c who knows why.. its just a sad situation that I allowed for myself to get into and now im the one thats hurt w/ no heart to pull out of it.....

 

i'm sorry esboogie, i've been there before & unfortunately the groundwork has already been established on a foundation where, as raykay stated earlier has been defined as a "quasi relationship."

 

i've found there some people out there who are in unfullfilling relationships & ride the wave simply b/c they don't want anyone else to be w/their partners even despite the fact that they themselves are not committed to the relationship 100%.

 

i know it's not comforting, but atleast you know straight out what he wants & he's not fooling or deceiving you....

 

i guess the decision lies in whether or not this situation is good enough for you to stay...