Hmmm... a tough one. Reckon i've got a chance?

[Kitz]

Sorry this is long.. but please, i'd LOVE some advice!! "Fred" is the guy i'm crushing on at the moment. If you dont wanna read all this just scroll to the bottom where the revelant stuff is lol.

 

I've been friends with Fred for about 3 years. Not GREAT friends, but not accqaintances... Its a hard to describe friendship.

 

I liked him for AGES. People told me he liked me too, and we'd flirt constantly with eachother. Unfortunatley, when I liked him, I figured I had no chance so I went out with this other guy (that relationship lasted 3 weeks, lol). And it was when I went out with the other guy that everyone finally decided to tell me, "Oh, Fred liked you.." ARRRGH!

 

So, I eventually stopped liking him, he stopped liking me, the flirting died down a bit. This was last year. At the start of this year, at the same party, I got with my ex boyfriend (that relationship lasted 4 months lol. A bit longer than 3 weeks!) and Fred got with my friends friend (that was his first kiss!!!), she asked him out, but he said no.

 

During this time, my friendship with Fred took a different turn.. I actually had some serious conversations with him (unlike the hardcore flirting/paying eachother out which we usually do). On a school excursion me and him ditched everyone and spent the whole time together, talking. He told me the reason he didnt go out with the girl he hooked up with was because he wasn't attracted to her (I was the only person he told this) and he was afraid of them just being too much like friends and not a couple.

He asked me about how I got with my ex-boyfriend, if i'd liked him before that (no) and Fred said that at that party, I was the hottest girl there (I think he let that slip, lol, but hearing him say I was hot was a HUGE compliment because he's so damn picky with girls!!).

 

Anyway, really unexpectedly one day, my ex dumped me. I was devo, but i'm over it now. But anyway, since me and my ex broke up... The flirting between me and Fred has risen dramatically. (yay!) He sends me text messages all the time, always asks me if i'm going to so-and-so's party, notices changes (like my hair n stuff). I'm not sure if this is because he's started to like me again or because he just feels he can treat me differently now i'm not in a relationship?

[nottoogreen]

He likes you allright, maybe more.

 

If you like him reciprocate and let it all evolve.

 

Enjoy!

[Kitz]

I guess what i'm asking is, do you think he likes me, do you think I have a chance?? And if I do, how would I go about it??

 

He is a tough one, because he has HEAPS of female friends (way more than male friends), yet he's only kissed 1 girl before and never had a GF so he's a shy guy in that sense (because he would NEVER make the first move). He does friendly flirting with those girls, but not in the way he flirts with me.

 

The girl he hooked up with is a sort of a friend of mine, and my ex boyfriend is a sort of a friend of his. (They're in the same class in my tiny lil school. Lol.) Does this make him off-limits?? Coz the place I live in is so small, its usual to have gotten with a friends ex or something... Us girls had a grumble the other day because every person we've ever been with has been with at least one of our other friends, lol.

 

He KNOWS that I used to like him (i've never told him this, but going to such a small school, gossip spreads fast.. LOL.)

 

Oh damn, im so confused. Any advice, or other peoples experiences with 'shy-guys' or friend-crushes would really be appreciated. Thanks!!

[nottoogreen]

He sounds like a nice catch.

 

Message him back or call him. Ask him if he likes to hang out.

 

About his ex, in your little place are few choices, so do not worry too much. But don't end up being a rebound...

[Kitz]

Oh no, he never went out with the girl. He just hooked up with her once (at the same party I got with my ex at!) She asked him out, but he said no... He told me this was because he didnt really find her attractive. (He is SO picky when it comes to girls, too!!! At least he can afford to be coz he's so damn HOT. lol.)

 

... If anyones going to be rebounding, its going to be me.

 

I have to say, thanks nottoogreen.. You always help me with lil dilemmas and stuff. Like when I broke up with my BF.. it was good to just hear someone say "you'll get over him". Lol.

[robowarrior]

I would definitly give it a try, so im raising a green flag here.

[PRSOV]

I agree with the others, he seems like a nice down to earth kind of guy who shows a lot of respect towards females...

 

As for him being out of bounds because of your friend... definitely NOT!!!

 

Have fun and keep us posted

[Kitz]

Awesome Thanks for the encouragement guys!!

 

Well, the party's on Friday.. he txted me yesterday and asked if I was going. (He also said he saw pics of me last weekend... oh the shame LOL)

 

I cant wait!! Its just so hard... I know back when I had only had 1 or 2 hookups to my name i was TERRIFIED if someone hit on me.. the other person pretty much had to initiate everything and I gave them no "yes" signals lol, so i'm scared if I try anything with him it'll seem like rejection and i'll give up.

But i'll still TRY and make a move.. i've had this thing going on with him for years now.. I cant go through life saying i never tried. Lol.

 

Hmmm... I just got a txt from him. I think he's drunk.

"How good is better food than yours??"

 

What the hell?? LOL

[PRSOV]

Just learn to relax and just go with the flow, that's the most important thing... and stop trying to analyse every single thing about him and yourself, you'll end up driving yourself crazy!

 

Have fun and enjoy the ride!

[Kitz]

Okay, an update!

I've managed to hook with fred two parties in a row now!! yay!! LOL, i'm even his date to the formal!!

Except now I have a few new problems.. I remember back with my first boyfriend a little over a year and a half ago, i played games like this too.. but now i'm just so frank.. and i dont want to scare him off. lol

Let me know what you think!

Ok, the story:

A few weekends ago, there was this rave on. One of our mutual friends came up to me and was like, "Do you think Fred's hot?" and i was like "YES" and she was like "would you get with him?" and i was like "HELL YES!!" and she was like "mad, coz he wants to get with you" and i was like "OMFG ARE YOU SERIOUS" and jumped around screaming. haha sort of. Anyway, full story was he was completley sober, talkin to our mutual friend and she was like "so, what are your plans for tonight?" and he was like "I might try and get with kitz", right out of the blue, and she was like OMG!! lol.

The thing she kept saying is it was just amazing because i'm the only girl he's ever really shown interest in, he never tells them ANYTHING and then all of a sudden he just burst out with that.

We didnt end up hooking up, besides, he ended up getting on acid and the "flirtiest thing" i done was sit on his lap half the night and laughed at all the people.

The next day, our mutual friend was like "so, you didnt get with kitz?" and he was like "nah, its a bit hard when you're on drugs.. i'll try at the next party."

(just another reason why i hate drugs and don't take them.. they interfere with your hook up attempts! LOL)

Next party, we flirted the whole night. I would hug him and stuff though, but he wouldnt put his arm around me or anything -- its because, our mutual friends say, he's so fridget (after all, he'd only ever kissed one other girl ONCE before me!) Eventually my friend, who knows I have a phat crush on him, came over and was like "are you guys hooking up yet?" I just turned his face towards me and kissed him, we went and talked to a few of my friends for a bit, and then i asked him if he wanted to go for a walk and he did and we made out some more.

 

Now the confusing thing: when we all got kicked out of the party, he was like "i hate to say this, but i dont want a relationship". To which I straight away said "yeah, me neither" (which was stupid coz you know, i wouldnt mind HAHA) and he was like "oh, ghee, thanks!!" LOL but I guess I am pretty scared about getting into another relationship, especially just after another single drunk hookup which is how pretty much all my relationships have started.

We talked a bit, he said that the reason he just said that out of the blue was because he stuffed it up with the first girl he hooked up with, saying "yeah, we're gonna go out!!" when he was drunk and not really sure what he wanted.

 

He also said he didnt want a girlfriend because he didnt want the whole stress of that ontop of school, and it'd be awkward having to see them every day and everything (which i wanted to say (but i didnt) how the hell would he know seeing as he's 18 and never had a girlfriend before?!) At that time, he was also finishing school in a week and so. Oh well.

 

Kissed him goodbye, went home, got a txt message from him the next day saying "Hello you;-D u at the beach burning out the sickness i gave u! Lol last night was fun! Hooking up wit u was mad-didnt feel pressure or anythin just fun;-D"

[Kitz]

once again, thank you everyone for your advice!! its so much more helpful than my best guy friends advice, which is to say "hey, come back to my house and you'll get laid", give him a good time and hope he likes it so much he wants more, ROFL.

 

Thought i'd continue this in another post coz it was getting so long... SORRY ITS SO HUGE!! i hate reading heaps of stuff, haha. This parts more interesting than the other one anyway

 

 

Anyway, it was the yr 12 farewell at my school a week later (Freds last day of school! Me and a friend got high during the farewell assembly, and afterwards everyone went uptown and got really drunk. I *REALLY* wish I hadn't gotten high because Fred was flirting with me a bit and i was greening out so I wasn't really reciprocating, and so he went off and was talking to this other girl who I know likes him, and as you do when you get high, I got really paranoid and thought he was off hooking up with the other chick.

I got a bit upset and so I went off and done my own thing with friends, and later on I went up to my friends house and Fred was there. I was soo maggot though (because i'd been pissed off, thinking that he was getting with the other chick... oops) and i just have a memory of us sitting on the bed talking, and then us breaking my friends flyscreen so we could climb out onto her roof and talk.... oops (LOL). I think he asked me to the formal, too, but I forget coz i was pretty drunk.

 

Then me and my friends went out to this party, and Fred tagged along. We were sitting on my friends bed talking, and all of a sudden he stops talking, looks at me and was just like, "can we just make out now?" LOL!! I was so shocked... like, he's shy as anything, but they weren't exactly the words of a shy guy LOL. So anyway, we were kissing and I was like "i thought you wanted to get with Rose?" (the other chick) and he was like "what?? hell no! I wanted to get with you"

 

Later on, I walked over to him talking to a few of our friends and one of them said "look, there she is, ask her!!" and he was like "did I allready ask you to the formal??" and i was like "um, i dunno" and he was like "oh, well.. do you wanna go to the formal with me??" and I was like "yeah, ok

After talking to one of the friends who was there later on, the story was that one of the girls said "Fred, just ask Mel to the formal allready!! (Mel's one of my friends, she wants to go to the formal, but she needs a date to go coz shes not in yr 12)" and he was like "um, ah, well..." and she said "Did you want to ask Kitz?" and he was like "yeah! thats what i wanted to do!" which was when I came over and she was like "just ask her allready!" and so he did. She also said that "his tone fully changed when he asked me"... whatever the hell that means?

 

By the time the party ended, i'd been drinking for about 12 hours, was so tired... I was pretty much falling asleep on the driveway waiting for our lift to come pick us up but Fred kept poking me... I really wanted to have a final little talk to, i dont know, confirm things, but my evil ex, who's been acting like a real to me now that i've been hooking up with Fred, kept coming over and cutting in and kept talking to Fred... it was so frustrating, and so I never really got to have a final conversation.. not even a cya later, thanks for the fun night

 

The next day, me and my friends went shopping, except one of them grabbed Fred's phone by mistake so he wasn't able to txt me or anything.. They told me that Fred had told them that he'd "invited me to his formal" and asked me if I was going, and I said yes, lol.

I hadn't heard from him so a few days later I txted him coz I was bored and we chatted for a bit, made some jokes about breaking my friends window and he said I should come to this rave next weekend, except I dont really like raves and i'm soo over drugs so I dont think I will.

No mention about the hook up or the formal or anything.. i'm just a bit confused at the moment.

He's the first person i've ever hooked up with more than once.. usually i manage to go out with someone the moment we hook up, but not this time.. i guess it doesnt help that i've been out of the hookup game for 8 months now. lol

 

again, thanks everyone for your opinions!

[rightfromthestart]

hmmmmmmmm....hooking up yet treating it extremely casually....hmmmmmmm....being impressed because someone compliments your physicality [surface - nice hair - lol] - sounds like u both are just in a place where u are carefree and just wanna have some fun without strings attached....nothing wrong with that...lots of people do it that way...enjoy