If a girl says…

[Hoodoo]

…that a guy is ‘all about the love’ as a reason for not going out with that guy, what would you say this means? Not entirely sure this is the best sub-forum to post in about this since its more a question about female attitudes towards commitment and I apologise if this is an inappropriate place for it. My own conclusion is that the girl is afraid because the guy wants more than just a random fling but wondered what you guys think?

 

Also, this girl isn’t 17 yet so I wondered if her attitude towards relationships and love might change as she gets older (as in a natural sort of change) or if it might depend on individual life experiences or if it would remain the same? I thought about that since I know my own attitude towards relationships has changed considerably since I was her age (I am 18 ). And if it does change, would a guy who was ‘all about the love’ become a more attractive prospect?

 

If anyone has ever been in a similar situation before please post! Any comments would be really appreciated.

[PRSOV]

When she says that is grounds for not going out with a guy I think she means that either:

 

A) He is "too full-on" about having a relationship and would rather someone a lot less relaxed about the situation.

 

B) She doesn't really want to date him and uses this as a line not to hurt his feelings.

[Hoodoo]

Thanks for commenting PRSOV! With regards to B), the 'all about the love' line was sed to another person, not the guy with feelings for her and I think it's safe to say she isn't interested at the moment. I just wondered if people, or girls to be specific, and their needs and wants in a relationship change over time or do they stay the same till the day they die?

[Süsser Tod]

Their needs will change as they mature and grow up as persons. However, don't even worry about it, the new grown up person may be someone you can't stand being with for 5 minutes. Don't sweat it, look for someone else.

[PRSOV]

I just wondered if people, or girls to be specific, and their needs and wants in a relationship change over time or do they stay the same till the day they die?

 

Absolutely, people's feelings are changing all the time... I am sure even married couple's that have been together for 50 years still experience this type of emotion. Even though they have been together for quite a long time they 'love' each other and that is what counts for that type of relationship...

 

Also if you are referring to younger teenagers this is also extremely common especially seeing as you are growing, maturing and experiencing changes in mood and hormones, especially for females... but also common in males too, hence the change in feelings.

[Hoodoo]

Thanks Süsser Tod and again to PRSOV for replying. I should have pointed out before too that this girl has said to others that she prefers short flings and doesn't 'dig' the love thing. So, with this in mind, saying a guy is 'all about the love' isn't really a reflection of that guy being unattractive to the girl, apart from the fact he wants more than just a fling? And if its common for changes in attitude towards love, especially in teenage girls, to take place, does this mean that the same guy would be in with a chance later if he stuck around long enough?

[Süsser Tod]

Well, right now she is all about having fun, not about love. In the future, for sure, she will change. It may take her a couple of years, maybe even 20 years, but at some point she will change.

 

Trust me, there is plenty of fish in the sea to even bother thinking if she will change.

[PRSOV]

I agree with ST given the circumstances, she isn't ready for committment and just wants to be single until she does feel like she is ready later on down the track in a few years...

[Hoodoo]

Thanks PRSOV and Süsser Tod, you've been a great help! Any other comments are still welcomed however!