Graduation

[New_Horizons]

I will graduate from university in a year. I have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. I feel my entire university experience was a waste. It was a blur of studying, working and countless evenings staying up alone. I feel I've wasted three years of my life wallowing in loneliness. Now nothing has changed. I feel like a social misfit because I have no confidence or ability to make friends, let alone girlfriends. I don't even want to attend my convocation because I know all the guys and girls there will be with their girl/boy friends and other friends while I won't have anyone attending besides my parents. It'll just depress me further and reinforce the idea I'm a loser. Does anyone else feel this way?

[friscodj]

I will graduate from university in a year. I have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. I feel my entire university experience was a waste. It was a blur of studying, working and countless evenings staying up alone. I feel I've wasted three years of my life wallowing in loneliness. Now nothing has changed. I feel like a social misfit because I have no confidence or ability to make friends, let alone girlfriends. I don't even want to attend my convocation because I know all the guys and girls there will be with their girl/boy friends and other friends while I won't have anyone attending besides my parents. It'll just depress me further and reinforce the idea I'm a loser. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

Two thoughts for you:

 

1) Girlfriends and friends come and go but all your hard work went into something no one can ever take away from you...your degree...

 

2) Some people might consider having no girlfriends better than having a rash of bad ones (or just a rash from one! Oh that was priceless. But seriously, you very well might be luckier than you think there...you got away clean without any baggage...look at it that way...

 

I think now that school is done though, you should start working on making more of a social life for yourself if nothing else but to make good friends. What are your hobbies? What would you like to become a hobby for you? Start there and you'll probably meet people. And meeting ladies online is always a good choice for shy people too...

 

It'll come for you in time I think. You want it, that's the first step...so set the date when this new life will happen as the day after your graduation...then go do it...

[friscodj]

My first guy was my first boyfriend whom I was in a relationship with for 2.5 years and broke up recently.

 

You raise a good point here! It's about quality not quantity dude. You may not have many (if any) ladies in your life or friends right now, but all it takes is one really good one to complete your life in these respects...

 

I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'd rather have one solid, fulfilling, truly loving relationship than 10, 15, 20+ near misses...

[friscodj]

Yeah, you are right in a way but that bit me in the butt because I relied on him too much and became clingy and ignored my friends. He knew I loved him very much but I guess we were not on the same boat as he kept calling me clingy and was turned off. God damn him!! I am getting all mad now.

 

I forgot to welcome you to ENA New_Horizons!

 

You see what you missed out on in college explained here in this quote New_Horizons?

[chemica]

I will graduate from university in a year. I have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. I feel my entire university experience was a waste. It was a blur of studying, working and countless evenings staying up alone. I feel I've wasted three years of my life wallowing in loneliness. Now nothing has changed. I feel like a social misfit because I have no confidence or ability to make friends, let alone girlfriends. I don't even want to attend my convocation because I know all the guys and girls there will be with their girl/boy friends and other friends while I won't have anyone attending besides my parents. It'll just depress me further and reinforce the idea I'm a loser. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

OMG, like the same story. I am a 21 year old Chemical Engineering student at CU Boulder going into my final year. Never had a girlfriend...never been kissed. I hear "college is the best time of your life" and want to stab an ice pick in their face (not really but you know what I mean). Between being so busy with study and extremely shy, I have struggled enormously in making friends and getting a gf.

 

Don't worry though man...I just keep working on my shyness and I will be much better off after college to find that special girl. Finding the right girl is much more important than pileing up a bunch of failed relationships.

 

Oh yea...Frisco DJ is so right. I had not kissed a guy til I was almost 21. LOL. My first guy was my first boyfriend whom I was in a relationship with for 2.5 years and broke up recently. I am a junior about to be a senior at University of Miami and majoring in psychology. To be honest with you, I used to feel like you do now that I did not do partying like college kids but when I started doing it, it was so hard for me to focus on studying. If it helps, click on my pic. I am told to be hot but got my first kiss when I was almost 21. I was just busy studying and did not care about boyfriends or kissing, etc. Just be yourself and don't be harsh on yourself because you are not a loser!!!If I could, I would give your first kiss to prove it!

 

^Good post.

[danielj]

I will graduate from university in a year. I have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. I feel my entire university experience was a waste. It was a blur of studying, working and countless evenings staying up alone. I feel I've wasted three years of my life wallowing in loneliness. Now nothing has changed. I feel like a social misfit because I have no confidence or ability to make friends, let alone girlfriends. I don't even want to attend my convocation because I know all the guys and girls there will be with their girl/boy friends and other friends while I won't have anyone attending besides my parents. It'll just depress me further and reinforce the idea I'm a loser. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

You're not the only one who is in that situation. Your post could just as easily have been something that I wrote. Wish I could give you some advice on how to make it better. Still trying to figure that one out myself, lol.

[archerz03]

don't worry man, i am too in the same situation. The important thing is that you make the effort to make friends. If you don't put any effort into it, then you are not gonna get anything out of it. Like what the DJ says, atleast try to start making a social life.

 

Good luck to you, and to us too.