12 years...

[smith501]

Bare with me, I've never done this. Well, I sort of dated someone whom I didn't get her age for the first few dates. Anyway, we hit it off very well, in fact, up until I had asked her age I felt like she was someone I could see myself being with for awhile.

 

We were on our fourth great date in each others arms when I popped the question, and she became extremely nervous. I started guessing ages and well, I was off big time, she looks a lot younger than she is, which is 36. She knew my age but didn't really want to spill hers until I asked or when she felt it was needed, because apparently it wasn't a big deal to her.

 

I don't know what to feel right now. I thus far have enjoyed the single life so I don't feel the urge to tough it out with her or anything, but I do really like her. She is one of the most friendliest woman I have met in my life thus far, extremely pretty, very stable, and we have that natural romance thing between us, so there is a lot there. What we have together is hard to find...

 

Anyway my conflict is that I can't seem to decide if I should follow the greatness or be more realistic and accept that there is a similar match closer to my age somewhere out there? We have a date coming up and for the most part I'm very excited to be with her again, but there is a small part of me that doesn't feel so comfortable about this.

 

Any ideas or opinions would be great, thanks.

[monkey1]

What bothers you about the relationship?

 

I think if you like her, you might as well just go out with her again.

[Tigris]

If the two of you love each other then the age difference won't matter.

 

My cousin became a widow earlier this week at 44 years old. Her husband was 53 but he always looked a lot younger. She was very happy in this relationship and is devastated by his loss!

 

The two of you need to discuss where both of you want this relationship to lead. Pour your heart out to her and allow her the same courtesy.

 

The only way to overcome problems is to communicate.

 

Good luck and take care.

[shes2smart]

My husband's 11 years younger than me. No problems here.

 

It becomes a problem if your relationship goals are wildly dissimilar (i.e. one of you wants children/the other doesn't, one wants to get married/the other doesn't).

 

Otherwise, it's only a problem if you make it a problem.

[agent1607307371]

Dude, follow the greatness.

 

Don't wake up one day years from now kicking yourself because you let a good thing get away because of age.

[red1028]

My husband is 11 years younger than me and I was never bothered about the age thing. In fact, I never really had a comprehension of the age difference until he said some disparaging remarks to a third party (he denys this) but Ihave never gotten over it.

[shes2smart]

It becomes a problem if your relationship goals are wildly dissimilar (i.e. one of you wants children/the other doesn't, one wants to get married/the other doesn't).

 

 

Incidentally....dissimilar relationship goals is a problem no matter if your age difference is 12 seconds or 12 years. Upon further thought, I guess that's not even a consideration for your specific concerns...

[smith501]

Wow thanks for all the responses. I guess it's more of a new thing for me more than anything, which gives me a level of uneasiness. We have been open since she told me her age, and I hope to keep that line open. I'll see where it takes me, it's nice to hear all of this support, again, thank you all.

[annie24]

definitely, 12 years is not a huge deal. My parents had a 12 year age gap. It's like S2S said, it's all about goals and lifestyle choices. If you two click and really get along, just know that doesn't happen everyday. It's hard to meet someone you really like and get along with. And if you find it, don't let it go so easily.