I want to talk to him...

[VickiRose]

I broke up with my boyfriend, a few nights ago. Because, he just didn't have enough time for me. I feel really really bad. I liked him a lot, I think I might even love him. I just feel real bad that might have hurt him. I want to talk to him to see how's he is doing & to see if things could be worked out. AS in him setting aside time for 'us'. I dunno. I'm afraid he won't want to be with me again or forgive me.

 

Is there ever a time when a break-up is nessesary to make changes within the relationship for the better?

[Sad_now]

Hello. My ex left me this time because he didn't have time for me. That's not true. If you care about someone, you will MAKE time for them.

If he couldn't be bothered to make the effort, he didn't care for you enough. That's what I tell myself when I miss him

In answer to your question, you should never break up to teach someone a lesson. That's called playing mental games. You should discuss your problem with them, and if you cannot reach a resolution, you should leave with the intention of never looking back.

Never break up with someone with the intention of going back in a couple of weeks, leaving the other person sweating and rejected in the meantime. Someone has done that to me several times, and it totally messed my head up. Never do that to your worst enemy, let alone someone you care for.

[Moonlight80]

Hello,

 

Try and contact him. Maybe there is something you can try to solve things. If can't spend time with you because of work, school or other important things, then maybe you should give him a break. Now, if it's because of silly excuses... don't even bother. I do think you two should sit down and discuss things. Always know exactly what's going on before making drastic decisions. Trust me I know..

 

Good luck!!

[HardShowingAffection]

Communication is key here. If I were you, I would call him up and discuss things. Like mentioned above, if it is legit... ie. school, work, or other important things, you have to understand and respect that. If he is just blowing you off, then that is another issue.

 

I also agree with the fact that leaving is not the correct way to handle things. It screws with both people in the relationship. The 'dumpee' feels rejected and that might build some frustration, anger, or resentment. You need to talk to him. It can leave a bad taste in your mouth if you let it.

 

Talk, talk, talk. Communication is an essential ingredient in successful relationships! Be open and honest about your feelings. If he tends to 'close you up', let him know. He needs to know your needs, you need to know his. You need to work together as a team to reach both of your needs!

 

I would also recommend reading a relationship book or two. Or a communication book to get you on the right track. Get some advice from a third party.

 

But I cannot argue about the break-up being necessary to make changes either. When my ex left me 2 months ago, it opened my eyes up BIG time to alot of things. It caused me to look into myself so much more, and read a ton about everything... relationships, communication, self-help. It changed my world 100%. However, a good heart to heart talk with my ex about those things that are bothering her, her concerns, would have also done the same thing. I would have gladly looked at things a bit deeper, tried to meet all her needs, but that communication was not there.

 

Good luck!