I've stepped in it now...

[Agrajag]

I guess there are two fronts to this problem.

 

The first would be how do I ressurect the SPARK of my relationship? If after 4 months it's grown into routine and am already seeing signs of co-habitation - should something be done?

 

I really really care for this girl and I still know we have potential I just need to dig up my feelings.

 

Is it a bad thing I want to take the new co-worker out for coffee? Or that I feel jealous that a fellow male co-worker may be an option?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

The thing that should be done is that you end the relationship.

 

After 4 months, you should not be suffering a lack of spark! Goodness, this shouldn't be a problem until a good year or two down the line, if at all. So it would seem to suggest that you two arn't compatible.

 

The other indicator that this relationship should be over is that you are even thinking about someone else, especially this early! And .. you are only 19.

 

I say end it with your girlfriend, and take the new co worker for that coffee.

[Agrajag]

The thing that should be done is that you end the relationship.

 

After 4 months, you should not be suffering a lack of spark! Goodness, this shouldn't be a problem until a good year or two down the line, if at all. So it would seem to suggest that you two arn't compatible.

 

The other indicator that this relationship should be over is that you are even thinking about someone else, especially this early! And .. you are only 19.

 

I say end it with your girlfriend, and take the new co worker for that coffee.

 

 

I was hoping the ultimate suggestion wouldn't come to that.

It's one of -those- relationships where here family and friends love me just as much as she does.

 

Unfortunatley, the co-worker isn't someone that cou ld really turn into a relationship at all since she's only *around* town for a few months working - not that I'm saying I just want to slap it into her.

 

I've bought her a few coffees to sip at while we work but I haven't decided if it's worth the trouble to take her on a few dats before she leaves again>

 

I'll be stuck since I'll have left my girlfriend. It's definitely better than nothing. Though, we -have- been seeing too much of each other - would that be a salvagable (sp?) option?

[RubyMoon]

Look at it this way....If you love her and you see a future...with some work...then DO IT!!! What is a good relationship if you do nothing to keep it going? Have you talked to your gf about the fact that you are feeling this way??? What would she say about how you are feeling?

 

I learned the hard way, you need to keep open communication in a relationship for it to really work well!!!

 

Talk to your girlfriend, bring up your concerns, if she loves you she will understand and want to make it work. Dont go and do something stupid with a woman who is never in town anyway...That just seems like a hormonal thing to do....listen to your head and your heart...not your "other" brain

 

Good luck!

[canuckhead]

I'll be stuck since I'll have left my girlfriend. It's definitely better than nothing. Though, we -have- been seeing too much of each other - would that be a salvagable (sp?) option?

 

That statement should already give u a clear answer. u shouldn't stay with someone just because it's better than nothing. and what do u mean by "stuck"? stuck being single? that shouldn't be a reason as to why u should have a girlfriend either. u gotta think about her too. dragging this on longer than it should would just hurt her more and make it even harder for u to end it. imo, and i agree with the above poster, the spark shouldn't be gone in only 4 months. u guys should still be in the honeymoon stage. i think u guys maybe just aren't compatible...and thereforeeee should end it (or just be friends)...but thats just my opinion.

[annie24]

YIKES! Your post drags up old memories for me. My last boyfriend broke up after 4 months because he said he didn't feel "the spark" for me. exact words, exact timing.

 

I was very sad for a while, maybe I'm a bit sad at times still, but I am glad now that we broke up. Deep down, I didn't feel like he was "my true love" either. I definitely felt "a spark" for him, but I didn't feel like he was my future husband.

 

so.... yeah, 4 months is a little soon for "the spark" to be gone.

 

what makes you think your current relationship is salvageable?

[RayKay]

It's one of -those- relationships where here family and friends love me just as much as she does.

 

Um, but you aren't dating THEM. That's not a good reason to stay with someone! Believe me! And you will be loved and accepted by future girlfriends families - hopefully ones you DO feel very into.

 

It's not fair to her or you to stay with her because you don't want to be single. It is REALLY unfair in fact. It's four months in, that's it. You have found it maybe there isn't enough there - that is part of dating! If the spark is not there, it's not there. Why stay with someone where that is lacking, when you are only depriving yourself of being with someone where the spark IS there.

 

It's better to be single, then with someone where it's just not "working".

[Süsser Tod]

Talk about being cruel and selfish.

 

 

If the relationship is getting stale, work on it! Every relationship needs work, and every relationship will get to that point without some work. You can't expect a relationship to be brand new after 4 months if you don't put any work into it.

 

Now, if you don't have any real interest on your GF, then, leave that relationship, dont drag her into something that could hurt her even more than breaking it off now.

[Agrajag]

I've been uncertain about my feeling for her up until the attraction to my new co-worker. It made me realize that I might have a issue to deal with here "at home".

 

What is the "Honeymoon Stage" supposed to be anyways?

[RayKay]

I've been uncertain about my feeling for her up until the attraction to my new co-worker. It made me realize that I might have a issue to deal with here "at home".

 

What is the "Honeymoon Stage" supposed to be anyways?

Hmm, it's that initial (usually the period of 3-12 months) lustful state of bliss, when you don't really know, or see, the imperfections yet.

 

Often you think the person is perfect, though of course you have yet to know all of them! You have usually not had your first fight yet, or seen each other in those more stressful situations.

 

Your endorphins have you on a "high" and oxytocin pumps through your body creating that chemical "kick" of lust and being head over heels.

[annie24]

how about this for a question.... if you didn't meet the new coworker, how would things be with your gf? Would you still be doubting her?

[Budman]

I'd say grass is greener complex.