Computers are bad, mmkay.

[lost_relic]

SOooOoo I'm addicted. To computers. Internet. Games. GAMES. Internet.

 

I can't stand it. They're ruining my life. I'm a struggling college student, who is wasting another semester because I just can't stop myself.

 

I've tried. I've installed programs on my computer to block my useage - only to outsmart it later, or alter it's settings to my tastes. I've tried uninstalling my games - only to reinstall them later. I've tried unplugging my computer, and putting the power cord away somewhere - only to fool myself into thinking "Oh but I need to use my computer for x reason, it'll only take a minute"... and find myself still there hours later.

The problem with these things? I always give in. I always outsmart my computer blocking programs, I always reinstall the games, I always give in.

 

I've gotten so sick of trying to stop myself, and just giving in, never making any progress. I'm so sick of it that I find myself not having the energy to fight it anymore.

 

... and yet, I'd just like to smash this thing with a hammer.

 

But I need it. I need it for my work (I'm studying computers, go figure). However, I use it innappropriately.

 

I don't know what to do. It's ruining my life.

 

I'm still living at home (at 21). My folks never really paid any attention to me or what I do with my time. It only matters if I do something that doesn't suit them. They always fight. They never talk. I never talk to them. My mum talks a lot about suicide. My dad is a hoarder (OCHD). Maybe I'm being dramatic, but damn, something really has to change. It's all just killing me, it really is.

 

I just had no one I can trust enough to talk to in my life, and so I thought I'd make a post. Maybe I should move out? And continue studying? I can't afford it? Get a student loan? Be poor very quickly?

I just don't know what I can do. Something _has_ to change.

[annie24]

Get rid of your computer. use the ones at school to finish your homework. that is it!

[SwtMary]

I would definitely have to agree with annie. If it is THAT big of a problem and it bothers you THAT much, then just get rid of it. I know this is a bad comparison but alcoholics can't have alcohol in their house...it is WAY too much of a temptation.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Yep, live work and play on a PC leads to death of the soul, game for the mind eye kandy for the body all make you pale, sick and slow. Sell the games and get out there walk, think, read books, do stuff. do it one day at a time thats all.

I was the same some time back now I just get in my garden and dig.

Life indoors and looking at TV/PC god all day will make you mind mush.

 

And stop looking at the net porn

[Daligal83]

Does using your computer for games and the internet instead of work make you feel better? It's possible that you're feeling stress from your home environment and using the computer in this way is a release for you. I may be totally off base with this, but if you can figure out why you are so compelled to avoid everything else and just use the computer, you can start to change this.

 

Some ideas I have are to set small goals for yourself. Maybe say that you'll only use the computer for fun for 30 minutes and then you have to do an hour of work. Then you can reward yourself with another 30 minutes of fun.

 

Also, is there a way that you can do this work on a computer at school or a library so that maybe these games won't be on your computer or you won't have access to them? Or do work with a classmate so they can make sure that you don't get distracted.

 

My last suggestion is that if you feel like you really need to talk this out with someone, check out your school's counseling center. It's free help and may really benefit you.

 

You can do this!

[bebecole]

i would remove all the games from my PC..

or get rid of the computer OR keep it at a friends house to keep from temptation and use it for SCHOOL purposes only.

if you dont think that would work you will have to see someone to help you with your additiction..b/c its not going to go away over night.

[shes2smart]

If you truly have addiction issues, getting rid of all computers will only result in you switching to another substance unless you address the underlying issues that are causing you to want/need the escape.

 

If you somehow manage to white-knuckle your way through not using a computer but don't address the underlying issues, it'll be simliar to someone they call a "dry drunk." link removed Dunno about you, but white-knucking your way through life doesn't sound like a healthy way to go....

 

I'm not familiar with a 12-step/"Anonymous" program for compulsive/addictive computer use, but I'd imagine they exist. The number of people who have this problem has likely spiked in the last 5-10 years, I'd imagine. While you're online, why not try looking for one? If you are unable to find one, would you consider going/be able to go to counseling?

[annie24]

very good point S2S!

[lost_relic]

Wow, a lot of nice posts O_o didn't expect so much *pleasantly surprised*

Thanks all

 

While I do believe it's the underlying issues that started my obsessive computer use, I'm not sure as to why I keep coming back. Some applications (as you say, MMOs are poison) definitely are a problem. It's mostly... once I'm away, I'm not-so-bad. After a long days work at my part time job for example. But I still believe it is a premium form of entertainment. That's when I start to ruin my progress.

 

Goal-setting, well, I've tried that a large number of times. It often results in the same thing though - me neglecting my goal system, and creating a new improved system, which is, at the time fantastic, but it works for no more than a week. It's kind of a shame, I still think the last one I used was pretty good

 

That's why I believe moving out might be helpful. My mum owns a second house, which my older brother rents, and he lives alone. So I could move there fairly cheaply. Sure, it'd still cost me a lot more to live than it currently does... definitely contributing towards my financial decay... but I suppose getting a student loan shouldn't be *so* bad. If I can break the habit, then the gains will far outweigh the losses.

 

The only problem - my brother has quite fast internet. Faster than at home, actually. However, I might just take my laptop (_still_ games free!), and leave this desktop here "for mum to use" heh. I'll keep it net free, as it doesn't have WiFi, so I can't connect to the network... and keep forgetting to purchase a card. Oops, silly me.

 

College does have counselling... I went for a while. It helped in some ways. Actually, the issues that I initially went to see them for are pretty much resolved now. But that's totally unrelated. And it wasn't through their help, it was through my own realisations. I stopped going once because I stayed up late, and managed to miss my appointment. That's perhaps what I hate the most - that's what's affecting my grades. I'll miss class and be like "sure, I can study at home today". Lol, yeah right. Funnily enough, I've never slept through my part time job. Which I'm off to soon (it's currently 6am).

 

As for RSI? Yeah, I've had that. It started to get really bad in my right hand not so long ago. It got to the point where I couldn't use my hand properly. That's when I invested in a tennis ball. It's died down and gone since then. But it's true, it is a concern.

 

Hmm, many great ideas here. I thank you all for your time and effort.

I'll contemplate the move-out in the next couple of weeks, and try a few more tricks to end this. On the plus side, you've all given me a slight spark of hope once more. I shall perhaps try to post back at some stage, and see how things are going