I need to break it off but don't know how to do it without hurting him

[QTpie87]

ok so as some of you saw on my last post. I have a new bf, iv'e been friends with him for about 6 months or maybe more idk, the thing is he asked me out and I said yes thinking I would like him as more then a friend. but I litterally can not stand it anymore, im going crazy. don't get me wrong, he takes care of me with little things like getting my stuff together, sharring things, being nice, he's really cuddley, and yes that is some things I want in a relationship, but I just don't like him like that i guess. I'm not attracted to him at all, he's too clingy for me after the really rough breakup i just went through. and well, aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I don't know how to break it off without hurting our friendship, or hurting him. we've only been dating sense like sunday or so, but rrrrrrrrrrrr, it's already just too much.

any advice?

[AwdreeHpburn]

QT - the only advice I have is the band-aid theory. You just have to rip it off.

 

It WILL sting a bit, at first, but once it's off, it will feel a lot better and even he will heal.

[lady00]

If he likes you a lot, you're going to hurt him. You can't get around that. What you can do is be kind, sensitive and firm. Do it in person. Tell him you want to break up and if he asks for a reason, be honest with him. You don't have to go into detail but you can just tell him you don't feel you two are compatible. Be firm, don't let him try to argue with you or change your mind. And make sure you do it in a way that you can get up and leave because you will probably need to and he will probably need space immediately to process it all and accept it. You can't avoid hurting him, but you can do it the right way.

[Dako]

The band-aid method is the most humane. It's been tested on me, and I'm a big fan of that over the drawn out method.

[friscodj]

Yes, it will hurt him. But you must realize you are not hurting him, the truth is hurting him. You are just the messenger here.

 

You're delivering the message that your heart just isn't in it and it just doesn't feel right to you. I would save all the compliments about how great he is and such, that's just me. You don't want to patronize.

 

And add that you still want to be friends when he is ready, because if he does this right, he ought to make some distance between you two to avoid the oh so common immediate, post-break-up, "friendship". In fact, you might suggest space between you two for a while...let the residual feelings and the new feelings that stem from the break up subside...

 

Even if it was only a few days, it sound like his heart was in it and it will hurt. But again, it's the truth of the situation and not you that is the source of this...