Male friend who sends mixed messages...

[izzycat]

I've been good friends with this guy for about 3 years now--we've gottten closer over time. Initially, I was very attracted to him (I still find him attractive) but I wondered about his sexual preferences...but he has had girlfriends, just not for awhile now, although he dates here and there, but has committment issues. It's complicated to explain, but he has made many many comments to me about men, about who he finds handsome, etc....he's never come out and said he wants to sleep with men, but he has discussed mens' bodies, looks, etc in a way that most "straight" guys don't.

ON the other hand, lately especially, he is always complimenting me on how nice I look "you look lovely this evening", how chic I am, what colors look good on me, etc. When we first started hanging out, I was frankly confused whether they were "dates" b/c he would come and pick me up, pay for dinner (he often still does). A while back, in a drunken moment I did sort of confess that i had a crush on him but we got interrupted, but he basically said that he just assumed "we were friends". I'm babbling. But it sort of pisses me off when he gets all sweet and complimentary with me and hasn't even ever tried to kiss me...we all so compatible in every way possible......

but I just can't figure out where the hell he' s coming from sometimes..

HELP!!

[anon1977]

After 3 years it probably about time you confronted him about this, you say that he hasn't tried to kiss you, but have you told him you like him more than a friend?

He either:

1. Just wants to be friends,

2. Has feelings for you but doesn't know if you do too so hasn't done anything about it, or

3. Is confused about his sexuality.

You won't know for sure unless you ask and tell him how you feel, but also you don't want to ruin the great friendship it sounds like you have.

God, that's a hard one. I would bite the bullet and discuss it with him, in an open way that hopefully won't interfere with your friendship.

[Goodfun88]

I had a friendship like this once. Turns out he's gay. But even if he isn't, he's not into you. If he was he would have made a move by now. You've put it all out on the table so if he liked you he would have done something about it.