Deal Breaker?

[BlkLagoon]

I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, who is really great. He's definitely one of the nicest, most considerate guys I've ever gone out with, and I really like him. I'm very physically attracted to him, so we've gotten physical. Things hadn't progressed that far yet physically and last night he explained why. He has herpes. I really do not want to get it and I also don't want to stop our relationship. I realize there are precautions to take, but nothing appears to be 100% fool-proof when it comes to intercourse. This is something I'm not sure I'm willing to not have in a relationship. What would you all do?

[eyeswideopen]

If you love him, research it. If you don't, why bother moving forward? It is a risk.

[Alpha J]

If you dont feel that you want to deal with it, then dont let things go on any further than they have. An STD is a serious subject and you must ask yourself, is this current man worth the risk? How did he contract it? Was his previous sex life questionable?

[Cadence308]

You have to decide if it's a risk worth taking. Nothing is fool-proof when it comes to sex except for celibacy. Not having sex may be a reason to not go further with the relationship. Only you can decide for yourself if it's worth the risk.

 

Personally, I wouldn't let things go futher and would probably end things, but I'm a prude, so that's just me.

[Day_Walker]

It is a judgement call that you are going to have to make. Protecting yourself from herpes can be difficult since it can be contracted even when he doesnt have outbreaks. I think you both need to discuss where you see the relationship going and particularly if you see a future with this guy. Odds are if you stay with this guy you are going to contract herpes as well so inform yourself how you can best protect yourself.

[JJRadical]

Give him a high 5 for being honest and then find somebody disease free...

[neva_black_n_white]

I think its something that you need to take some time over. I guess it depends on what your looking for in life, what could be lost but more so gained. I think that its more considerate to end something now though, than to give hope to something that isnt going to come.Your not harsh for moving on, so long as you show respect, he has been honest with you. Something he could have easily bipassed.neva

[Scotcha]

I've never been in that situation. If I were to sleep with someone who had herpes I know I would have to love them a whole lot to take that risk. I would have to know that there was a real future for us. A few weeks just isn't long enough in my opinion.

 

But like I said, I've never been in that situation so the above is only what I can assume I would have done in your shoes. Whoever gave me herpes either didn't know they had it or didn't tell me but I do have my suspicions.

 

It wasn't a deal breaker for my boyfriend. He doesn't want to get it either, no one does, but he doesn't want to be without me more.

 

It's up to you though. Wanting to be with him isn't wrong. Wanting to find someone else instead isn't wrong either.

 

Be willing to educate yourself and then make your decision. Truly realize all the possible reprocussions of either choice and then do what is best for you.