Unsure about the guy im dating...

[faith30]

I have been dating this guy for almost 2 months now and im not sure about my feelings for him. We have good communication and he seems like a nice guy but i still feel shy around him at certain times even though we have had sex. I havent dated much because im very picky! I want to give this a chance and see what happens but i feel myself holding back. I guess it could be because i dont want to get hurt or maybe he hisnt the one for me. How do you know? I mean i have had alot of long term relationships and only after 2 of them i felt a spark or just a feeling that you get when your around them. With my last boyfriend when i first kissed him i felt major sparks! I'm wondering if i will ever experience that again? I dont feel like that when i kiss this guy! I just dont know anymore about finding "the one"

[Iceman26]

I dont feel like that when i kiss this guy! I just dont know anymore about finding "the one"

 

So why not relax and let things take their course? Not everyone you date is going to be "the one". That is why you date, to figure out what you like and you don't like. What do you feel that you are shy around this guy?

[safeplay]

The less sparks the better, this way there is nothing fade away... Obviesly the sparks with your ex led you to a new relationship so why do you want the same thing again. If you like him give it a chance if you dont, dont play games.

[faith30]

I try to relax but i just feel like hes thinking i dont like him or something. I explained to him that im shy but he asked me the other day if im still shy around him. Im trying to give things a chance but i just dont feel a certain way when im around him. I had plans with him last night and when i got to his house i just wanted to go home.

[RayKay]

If you don't feel it, you don't feel it. You can't FORCE attraction, and you can't force something that is just not there. It does not get easier in the long run. While friendship is a base for a strong romantic relationship, it can also just be the base for a strong friendship!

 

While shyness initially is normal, I would wonder why you are still shy after this time, and the fact you just don't feel it leads me to believe just maybe he is not right one for you? But of course, I can't see in your heart, and only you can tell.

 

While sparks alone can't make a relationship, that chemistry is important, and I don't think one can deny that it is an important factor.

 

Look into your heart, does this guy excite you (not just physically, I mean mentally, emotionally?), do you enjoy being around him? You don't have to know you want to spend your life with him yet, but you should have an idea as to whether you are into him or not, to know whether you want to see where it goes or not.

[kellbell]

Hi faith,

 

I do not think it is your shyness that is causing this. After all this time, the shyness should have worn off by now. I believe it your intuition telling you that this guy is not right for you.

 

I had a very similar experience years ago...I went out on my first date with him and for the life me, I could not relax. I mean it was ridiculous...I have been on first dates before and I had those normal first date jitters but this occasion was different. We dated for several months and still, I was on edge with him, I could not relax, it took me almost 3 months with him to be able to eat a dang sandwhich in his presense. In hindsight, he was all wrong for me. So, it was not my nervousness, it was my gut screaming at me to get away from this guy.

 

So, perhaps this is your gut telling you to steer clear from this guy. You mentioned you did not have this problem with other guys, so I do not think it has to do with shyness. Take care.