is sex everything in a marriege

[IBNHADI]

I've been married for 5 years and my husband is from different culture he came here to live with me. he works i work. he works overnights i work days all he ever does is sleep and work and stay in bed room . the only time he is doing anything with me is is always sex he never takes me out or wants to do anything with me he always has excuse or say he will do something when the time comes he dont do it. i dont seem to have time to do simple things around house he always wants my attention in bed if i go out and do anything like movie with friend or supper or bowling he gets upset. i get so i dont like sex as it seems all he ever wants two to five times a day and more if he could and he always wants to watch porn movies and i dont like those either and so on is there something wroing with me for not wanting sex all the time. help me

[Alpha J]

Well, this may be the classic case of the difference between men and women. You see, sometimes us men.......we arent really big on the whole romance stuff when it comes to the bedroom or really anything leading up to it. Sometimes a man wants to get right down to business with out all the build-up. He may not be looking at you as only a sex object, but since both of your work schedules dont leave alot of time for miscellaneous activities, he finds it more convenient to do the "thang" at home whenever he can. That is what he wants.

 

However, if you want to go out and do things like dinner or the movies, you have every right to tell him that. Also if you dont like the porn, tell him and let him know its a problem for you. Dont sacrifice your hapiness. Talk to him about how you feel more. And if it comes down to it, hold out on the sex until he starts listening to you. If the sex is so important to him, let him know that some things are important to you, just as sex is for him.

 

If he loves you and cares for you, he will listen, you just have to let him know how serious you are.

[IBNHADI]

thanks for your responce alpha i've tryed talking to him and explain that sex isnt everything and i want more to us that i want to go out and do things together but it never seems to happen. i know he is depressed and that seems to have alot to the way he is i think anyway but he threatens divorse and leaving and its almost like that would be a relief then i get scared.

[robowarrior]

Threatening with divorce just because you want to get out of the door is absurd. He is what we classify as 'SELFISH' , love has to go 'BOTH' ways, and he is only taking in the relationship, i mean any time you want something he is dissatisfied, it means that you clearly don't 'count' in this marriage, wether he is from a different culture makes no difference, because you deserve more , you deserve to be loved and a relationship should be about being together, but still letting eachother being able to do their own thing. If he doesn't give you your way every now and then without threatening you, i would definitly divorce him, as he is too narrow minded to see it from your shoes, and you should say this to him' look at it from my shoes' , we never go out, im never allowed to do this or that, and i have had it with that.

[mushroom1129]

this is year 2006, not the caveman era. honestly reading your post made me think of that. you deserve better,he's not worth your time

[IBNHADI]

thank you all so much for your advice i appriciate it .