No life...

[b3nzyme]

I'm not much different than everyone else. Everyone has problems in their life, but mine seems different. My life was great all my years before high school. During high school everything went downhill, i lost all my friends, i become depressed (and i'm not now, i'm ok until i get lonely) and I havent had but like two girlfriends with whom my relationships didn't last. I'm jsut not the charismatic, hilarious person i used to be. Everyday i go around feelign all blank inside, no emotions. I really don't have a life. Okay that is not my problem tho. I graduated this year and now I'm REALLY lonely! Here's the main part of my message:

 

You do not understand how this city I live in is. It used to be a city now it is poor and run down town. I live in a county where this is the most populated city in it. (So I'm making a point that tehre is nowhere to go in like 70 miles... no joke, so I'm not wasting gas giong somewhere else to do stuff.) The problem is, there is nothing to do in this town!! The only attraction here is a WALMART. The only thing people CAN do for fun is hang out in the parking lot how pathetic. Here's the kicker. You can imagine in a town like this, there is nothign but a bunch of druggies and alcoholics. This is true. I'm religious (not very religious, I just have my simple few boundaries, like no smoking, no drinking, no killing, etc.) Well all my high school life all everyone had done for fun was get drunk and smoke weed. I'm not lying. If you want i can post link removed links of people i know who can tell you the same thing about this town and i can post an OVERWHELMING number of links of people who are posting comments each day about parties they have each week. TO this day, they still continue to have at LEAST three parties each week and everyone stays wasted all the time. That is the majority of people my age here. I am so depressed because i don't have a life here. I really CANT have a life here. Now it seems I've become so ill that even when i go new places, people don't seem attracted to me, instead I am labeled a nerd and a no-life and its easy to tell but I CANT HELP IT!! All i want is some friends and to be able to develop my personality and charisma back again so i can go back to enjoying life. Im 18 and depressed. I don't know how to handle this. Confidence is something I have but i get so down because I get so lonely. I haven't done or experienced much at all in my life and im like lightyears behing everyone in the US. please help me

[teacup]

holy cow.

 

you have my sympathies. u sound like you live in the middle of nowhere in a small town with a bunch of hicks. my nightmare.

 

i live in a fairly large suburbs next to the big cities and i am still bored. i have met a bunch of ppl who's lives consist of working, drinking, smoking, going to bars, and sex and drugs.

 

and mabe struggling to earn a living, pay bills, and movies, video games and dvds.

 

*sigh* i ask myself, isn't there more to life than that? apparently there are ppl like this everywhere (not limited to where u live). and these ppl are in their mid 20's-mid30's. i kind of think they will live like that the rest of their lives.

 

it's not my business.......but i would think there is more out there......don't they struggle to find more meaning in their lives?

 

which is to say, i wasn't able to get any answers from hanging out with them...i felt like a fish out of water.

what are the experiences you are missing out on that you are referring to in ur post?

[Caldus]

*sigh* i ask myself, isn't there more to life than that? apparently there are ppl like this everywhere (not limited to where u live). and these ppl are in their mid 20's-mid30's. i kind of think they will live like that the rest of their lives.

 

it's not my business.......but i would think there is more out there......don't they struggle to find more meaning in their lives?

 

which is to say, i wasn't able to get any answers from hanging out with them...i felt like a fish out of water.

 

Wow, you sound just like me. I have felt like a huge fish out of the sea for the longest time.

 

To the original poster: have you considered moving to a new environment? Not saying that you should blame your environment but I think it would be pretty tough for your full self to really blossom in an environment like that. You have to surround yourself in a setting that further stimulates and strengthens you as a person.

 

What can you do in the meantime? Whenever this sort of thing happens to me (seems like it happens to me everyday of my life), I always just like to attend to my own hobbies and just enjoy myself. I think it is important that we are able to enjoy our own company because if not then we are going to face difficult lives or at least a life of dependence on other people. But at the same time we must let ourselves realize that we are social beings and ought to socialize. But if you're socializing with the wrong people, then it is even fulfilling? Not for me.

 

So my advice, if you're 'stuck' in this situation, is that you need to start learning how to enjoy yourself. As hard as they may be to do, I think over time we learn to cope with any situation. We've coped through more situations then we ever thought we coped through. We just don't remember, that's all. And that is because we get used to new situations and new settings that we forget that it was all that much of a huge issue in the first place.

 

It's funny how we can remember so well what we hate about our lives and yet tend to forget what we like about them.

[sir sirloin]

I assume you are still in high school.

 

If that is your situation then I have some difficult advice for you. This is the advice I wish someone had given me when I was that age.

 

Forget having a social life. High school is almost meaningless once you hit college. The same people who are living it up now will be bagging your groceries and screwing up your order at Taco Bell in a few years.

 

Work your * * * * off to get spectacular grades, kiss up to your teachers and administration. Join and enter the leadership of a few clubs. Then use your spectacular transcript to get a scholarship to a college way the hell away from your town.

[renthead]

Well obviously you have Internet, so maybe you can go online and just browse around until you look for something that is interesting to you. However, you can also find interest in the arts. I know it's not for everybody, but maybe you can find a hobby like writing, painting, drawing, singing, and etc. I think you just need to find and explore new things until you find something that appeals to you.