Asking out a co-worker a good idea?

[Yankee Confedera]

As the title says, is asking out a co-worker a good idea? There is girl at my place of work, who as of last Sunday, I have seriously thought of asking out.

 

Now, I have only had 1 girlfriend in my entire life but several in kindergarden-2nd grade and such that I have no memory of, so let's keep it at that 1 girl. Now, there are a lot of awesome girls at my work, but this one kinda sticks out.

 

She's 18 and just graduated high school a little under a month ago, and I'm 16 and I'm going into my Junior year. I have been working at this place (Busch Gardens, a theme park in Tampa Bay) for a little over 2 months so I have known her for that long. When I first met her, I thought she was cool, and I occasionally talked to her like I did with everybody else when I first got there...because I was a new employee and just wanted to make friends.

 

Well, we have talked more than that occasionally thing in the past month. This is likely out of kindness but she offered me the rest of her cinnamon roll once, which was nice.

 

So, what signs is she giving me?

 

Well, I can't really tell if they are signs but we talk to each other as any co-workers would do. Last Sunday me and her switched shifts, I took her Tuesday shift and she took my Monday shift. And I didn't do this as a way to get to talk to her, because at that point the thought of asking her out didn't enter my mind. I could not go in on that Monday was the real reason.

 

So that same day, me and her were working together for a good 3 hours. We both operate a ride, thus I was the loader and she was the pre-loader. That's when the thought of asking her out entered my mind, because we talked a lot while we were working down there and I started to like her.

 

Now, I know what they say about dating co-workers. But 2 of my friends at work were dating for a long time up until this past Tuesday, so I know it can work. I'm liked by everybody at work, so I got no problems there.

 

My question is: is asking out my co-worker a good idea? I'm not leaving this job for a while and I don't think she is either, so I'll be seeing her regardless for some time to come.

 

I'm not sure what would happen if she said no. Would it cause some talk at work, I don't know because I've never asked a co-worker out before. Tomorrow I am thinking of asking her for a ride home, just to get something started.

 

I def. want to get talking to her first, before I ask her out to the movies or something like that. Like I said before, I can't really pick apart any signs that I've been given, if any. But she talks to me unlike some of the other girls there, so that's my only sign/clue.

 

Welp, responses ASAP is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

[annie24]

I think "don't poop where you eat." Or, as some others like to say, "don't get your honey where you get your money!" (courtesy of Shes2smart).

 

I don't think dating co-workers is a very good idea at all. Unless you or her will be leaving the job in a few months anyways. then maybe go for it.

[VladTepes]

Don't.

 

I know you want to, but honestly don't do it.

The same problem always happens. Worklife and personal life always conflict.

Any problems you have in life with the 2 of you will come to work. And if she says no or you break up, working there is going to be pretty drab.

 

Just be a friend and leave it at that.

The number 1 rule I give anyone about dating, is don't date co-workers.

[whatsagirltodo]

I'm closer to your age, being 20 next month, and I have had plenty of friends with jobs that dated. If you're young and it's not both of your life careers, i think it's not a big deal. I live in PA close to Hershey and tons of my friends and their bfs/gfs worked at hershey park together and it was fun for them. I worked in a grocery store too where a lot of people dated. The boss even scheduled couples to work together!

 

I think if you're older and you're in your "real" job, then it's not such a good idea, but if this is just a summer job or something, I wouldn't worry too much about it, and go for it.

[brando]

co-worker dating is a big thing though. Where else do you have the time to spend 40 hours a week getting to know someone. Their have been interesting articles written on office romances and i wish i had a copy of the one i have in mind to share.

 

I dont see why you don't ask her out, you just need to separate the work relationship from the romantic relationship.

 

It is true that if a break up occurs and you like the job, that you will have to fac e them daily, then again, this is a good test of maturity and handling this situation knowing an ex will be around you at work.

 

Do what you feel is best for you.

 

be well,

brando

[1-2 Manytimes]

HEY, considering your age and most likely type of work. Go for it man.

[annie24]

yeah, if you are working at an amusement park and you are young, it is probably ok.

 

a lot better than if you are 35 and working together, sharing an office and you break up!

[brando]

Thats negative Annie....

[annie24]

LOL - you know me! I just want to look on the bright side of things!

[Yankee Confedera]

Welp, thanks for the mixed advice.

 

Well, today, we both happened to have our lunch at the same time. So we eat together. And I know I said I was going to ask her for a ride home to get something started, and I did that, but not to get something started. I rode home with her to save my bro from traveling the 20-25 miles out to my work to come pick me up, and it was the right time to get a ride home from somebody.

 

So, after today, I still can't pick apart any signs to tell if she likes me or not. She was invited to a party after work and took another one of her friends who works at the same place as us but was at home for the day. We talked on the ride home, and there was never a time where I had to come up with something to make conversation.

 

So, my question is: where should I go with this from here?

 

I am stuck with where to follow through from this point, so advice is welcomed.

[Yankee Confedera]

Nothing? Nadda? Zip?

 

I was just wondering since I never received a response in a whole day. Just thought maybe my post went un-noticed.

 

Advice if I could get it, please. Thanks!

[annie24]

you are the only one who knows the situation. from what you have written, none of us can tell you if she likes you or not.

 

if you are interested, ask her out. if you are not that interested, then don't.

[DN]

I agree with Annie. But generally if you are interested it is best to ask but be prepared for disappointment.

[charley]

In my case, heck ya it's an excellent idea. I'm a 38 year old computer network administrator, but I only look about 28 to 33. We've got a smorgasboard of beautiful women at work and only a few guys. The women range from 18 to 65. I leave the ones from 18 to 22 alone, even if they are interested in me. To young and I don't feel right about it. 23 I'd go out with, if she asked me, but I'm not going to pursue. 24 to 35 is fair game and I'm interested in some of them and some of them interested in me. Despite the target rich environment, I do very little dating because I always turn shy around women that I'm attracted to.

 

My boss is really cool. I asked her about dating women from work and she said that 80% of married couples these days meet at work. She also pointed out that my work schedule is busy and most of my coworkers are women, but my social life is not very busy. thereforeeee, she said to be discreet and kind, but go for it. I'm lucky to have her for a boss.

 

Most people aren't that lucky, but don't let that stop you. Jeeze you're an employee not a slave. Can you get a job elsewhere if necessary? Yes. Would they fire you? I doubt it. Mutual dating is not sexual harassment. Asking her out is not harassment either as long as you stop asking if she says no. That's the key right there. If she says to leave her alone, then do it. I studied this in business law while working on my business degree. Don't be afraid to try.

 

My sister was a young college English teacher who married one of her students. He is a few years older than her. The college has a policy against teachers dating students, but it's only enforced if a gilted party complains. The college never even found out my sister dated and married him. If they had, who cares? She now has a better paying job elsewhere anyway.

 

Unless they have a strict policy about it (like military) and the authority to put you in prison for it (like military) then be discreet and go for it.

 

Seriously, would you give up the possible love of your life for your employer? My boss is cool, but even if she wasn't I wouldn't let that stop me.

 

Just ask yourself these questions: 1) Can I get a job elsewhere if necessary? 2) How likely are they to fire me if they find out? 3) Do they even have a written policy on it?

 

I'm a shy guy with women I'm attracted to, but even I'd go for it. "Faint heart never won fair lady" has been known for about 500 years now. It's classic and true. The modern equivalent is "no balls no glory".

 

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Cripes I just read the rest of your original post. I now see you're 16 and work at a theme park. It's such a shame that kids would even worry about this. Don't worry about it fella. You'll have more and better jobs in the future. You'll only have now for this girl. Absolutely go for it, but be cool if she turns you down. I don't think they'd fire a 16 year old for trying or succeeding. That'd be wrong. But if the worst thing happened was you got fired, then go get another job. I see this as potential big reward for you vs. potential tiny penalty. Go for it.

 

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As for whether she's interested in you? I have no idea. I'll leave that to others to council you on. I'm not the brightest guy in that area. However, I can tell you this, of all my memories of women in my life, my biggest regrets are the ones that I wanted, but never tried to get because of shyness or whatever reason. Not trying is far worse than failing. I've forgotten the women who turned me down. I will always remember with regret the ones I never asked.