bringing "new guy" around sorta-friends of ex--thoughts?

[joyce1412]

hi there. my ex broke up with me just under two months ago, despite much resistance on my part. i'm pretty sure i still love him, and would love for us to reconcile. i see the chances of that happening now as rather slim, due to work constraints on his part (he travels constantly), but for the future i'm somewhat hopeful for certain reasons.

 

i recently met up with an old childhood friend whom i once loved. there were sparks and we kissed, nothing serious. we now have a renewed bond, but there's naturally a lot of gray area, because we're hanging out like friends, but making out. he lives two hours away but is coming to stay with me this weekend, and i imagine there will be more of this going on.

 

i mentioned to a friend of mine that he's coming and she really wants to meet him (she knows we hooked up), and asked me to bring him to a group outing this saturday. she is a good friend of mine, but also sorta friends with my ex, and is very close with some of his best friends/coworkers. there will also be people at this gathering who know my ex, though definitely not my ex himself. basically, my ex and i still run in the same circle.

 

my question is, is this tacky to bring a new guy, my known "friend with benefits," to this gathering if there is a chance my ex could get wind of it? am i going to look like i'm trying to make him jealous? WILL that make him jealous? is this a bad idea if i hope for reconciliation?

 

thoughts are hugely appreciated!

[melrich]

You gotta turn up with someone sometime.

 

I don't think it's tacky. No one has to know the exact nature of your relationship right now. To be honest it is none of their business. I'd take him.

[RayKay]

Take him. You don't have to introduce him as "Bob, the guy I am having bennefits with".

 

You have to move on at some point, as does your ex. He broke up with you after all, and must of expected you to move on.

 

Is this "hope for reconciliation" all on your side, or has your ex said anything?

[JJRadical]

Alas its a small world. Bring your friend. Just be sure your not using the friend. Your mixing alot of boundaries here. I got a feeling your friend might want you more than a friend. But overall, you gotta live...if your ex gets jealous hes still into you...if not its over.

[kadvati79]

if your ex gets jealous hes still into you...if not its over.

 

My very first "proper" ex was a guy who i dumped, and absolutely destroyed his heart in the process.

 

A month after we broke up he was telling me how "You have given me a benchmark of what I am looking for, I just need to clone you hehe". Then two months later, he was dating someone else.

 

I wasn't jealous at all, in a way a little glad. But even then, I wasn't "over" him in the full sense. I still think of him, to this day. I think it just takes a long, long, time for feelings to settle and what you really feel/believe to surface. I don't really think jealously/anger is a longterm feeling, more a reation to try and help you cope with something... such as a situation you can't change.