hmmmm?

[sitting-waiting-wishing]

male-16

 

so ive posted here before and im still stuck on the same issue but not really. my last post in april was asking the question if i am truly gay. and i'd like others input upon the situation. heres a quick overview.....

 

theres been the thought in the back of my head sicne 8th grade..that summer i looked at gay porn for the first time and it turned me on so that reinstated the question, am i gay. and my freshmen year i had a crush on a senior guy who was openly gay. nothing happened sadly but then sophmore year towards the end i had my first "gay" experience. someone i didnt like gave me head and it didnt bother me at all. if i wasnt gay....then i would have minded and been like uh....no. i was horny and regret it happening because i didint like the kid but i enjoyed it.......there still a thought in my head though....am i straight?? now today me and a close friend(whose a girl and shes drop dead gorgeous) did a lapdance video fom Carmen Electra Striptease. and i looked over and i didnt feel anything, like sexual attraction... the previous day i was hangind out w/ friends and one of them is openly gay and he called his 2 friends up, who are also openly gay and we went swimming. i kept staring at one of them, omg his eyes are soooo gorgeous and he has an amazing personality...and we played monkey in the middle w/ a frisbe and i dove for it and he tried to get it at the same time and all i could think of was hot damn. then that night i had a dream that we made out..... so back to the striptease video...all i could think of was doing it for him and making out w/ him while giving him the lapdance......the only problem is the fact thats he's 21. so im pretty sure im gay but the only thing is i believe im to afraid of what others will think. and i havnt made out w/anyone yet, im happier when im around my friend who is openly gay and his 2 friends...i just feel happier and free to be myself...sorry this is random...just typing this and thinking about him makes me smile.....the kid i had a dream about's brother is also gay and hes gorgeous as well...he's 19 i dont know where this is going anymore so im done....lol

[Decado]

hey man. it does seem that you are, pretty much, gay. but the thing is that its ok. NO WORRIES .The thing is you dont have to label yourself just yet. If you like girls one day but like guys another, that's ok.

 

I, basically, didnt have much trouble with my sexuality. I didnt (and still dont) know if i was str8 or gay but i kinda always had the thought in the back of my my that i would figure it out sooner or later. I classify myself as bi (i am not out though) but that may change someday. I dont know.

 

It looks like you have a pretty solid pillow to land on if you do decide to label yourself as gay. I mean you have, like, 4 or 5 friends that are gay and i dont think that they will care much. and comin out doesnt mean you have to tell everyone. You can just tell them if you want. If you think about it, they probably have been through the same thing. I guess you could talk about it to them.

 

Soz, running out of time. I g2g. but i will post l8r on coz i feel that i have a lot to say about your situation (sounds kinda weird). Hope what i have said helps in some way.

 

Good luk Decado

[bebecole]

just go with your feelings!!!

your still in high school and oh gezz i remember how that was..

just remember theirs someone always out there whos going say something about you..

there are alot of people who are quick to judge you.. so dont let dem get you down.

[Jorus Cbaoth]

Do you base your preference on sexual attraction alone?

[Deviant_Kate]

I don't so much think your question is "am I gay?" I think you're really just trying to find out what to do about it. Coming out is terrifying. My advice is to be patient and start out only telling people you're very close to that you know won't betray your trust. The unfortunate thing about being gay in high school is that if everyone knows or thinks you're gay, they're going to give you a hard time for it. I don't know what your school is like, or your family, or your community, so I guess I just want to suggest examining your family/school/community and finding out how accepting they are of homosexuals, and THEN decide whether or not to tell them that you're gay.