Not Sure of Future?

[notsurewhat2think]

Hi All,

 

I was dating my girlfriend for 7 months. Everything was great, no fighting no arguing. We both said we loved each other and would say I'm your last bf/gf etc. She said I may be the one. We would look forward to the weekends so we could see each other. One weekend she was acting weird (not calling) So I asked her if she had the same feelings she said "no I don't" well my heart sank. I left it and called her on the following Tuesday for an explanation and she said she just doesn't think things will work between us and that she will be right in the end by doing this. I told her well I guess your mind is made up and she said let's just chill for a bit. She called me on the Thursday crying saying she f'd up, I hate being broken up with you etc. She said she didn't want to be the play house couple, the Wal-Mart, Home Depot type etc and want to do different things together ie. plays, shows, but also said she would move in with me in the fall?? I was so happy that night. The next morning I get an e-mail saying "Morning baby. Thanks for talking to me last night I really needed to talk to you but after we got off the phone I really realized in my heart my feelings have changed. I wish I could tell it to shut up but I have to listen to it. You are so perfect and amazing and unfortunately I can't treat you like you treat me. Please don't be mad at me and I need you to know that I love you. It's just I don't see us 5-6 yrs down the road. I spoke with her after and she was crying saying "what do you want me to do"? I told her I can't tell her that she has to decide. I asked her if she was scared she was making a mistake she said "yes" We were getting off the phone and she said "Idon't know what to say" and I said "well just have a good weekend". We said bye. It has been no contact for 2 weeks. Any ideas ladies and gentlemen? I hate not being with her. P.S I'm 29 she's 26

[sukerbut]

i have learned so much since my break up...grown in so many ways...i thought she was the one yada yada yada...like my moher once told me..dont ever chase a woman...she thinks your great..she thinks your wonderful but she does nkt want to be with you..fine then bi.ch..be on your way and stop wasting my time....DO NOT chase her. no contact...leave her alone...as soon as you give in..she will just run for the hills

[zippitt]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

 

The fact is she feels a certain way and nothing you can do will change that. I have been in your shoes multiple times, and I have been on the other side. Sometimes you just know it's not going to work. There are just too many dynamics in a relationship and sometimes it just impossible to point out which ones have more weight or which ones are even causing the problem. She just needs to be honest, ask her what would truly make her happy. Just brace yourself, because it may not involve you in her life.

 

We cannot hate people because how they feel any more than you might hate yourself because who you love. You might feel low on yourself, but I assure you it's just two people not being right for eachother.

 

And besides that, being in a relationship with someone that is not happy will make you miserable in the long run.

 

I think the worse part in your situation is how powerless you might feel, you cannot change her mind no matter how strong your love is for her.

 

At this moment your doing the best thing you can. Keep up the NC, one day you will feel better and maybe you can be friends, or maybe not. But now you need to focus on your happiness, keep busy...I would have to say the best thing I ever did was focus on the gym. It's more powerful than any drug I have experienced if taken seriously enough.

[notsurewhat2think]

Thanks for the replies guys. I do still love her so much and I really thought she was the one. Do you think she still thinks about me and may one day realize she made a mistake? Also, how do you guys deal with the thought of her being (sleeping with other guys) knowing that it's not you? I am going to the gym and along with these posts it has really helped me. I have dated many other girls but this break up is the worst! Can you just turn off feelings for someone so fast? Thanks again.