i'm so confused...need advice

[shyguy78]

I am starting to doubt my girlfriend's love for me and I would like some insight as to whether I should try to make the relationship work or just let her go. If you truly love someone, could you bring yourself to leave that person in order to persue something you can do without actually leaving?

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now. We fell in love with eachother and everything was going awesome until a few days ago. She is going away to school for a few years and neither of us think a long distance relationship will work.

 

The situation is a little different though. We are in our late 20's, we have careers, and she has children. She can go to school close by and we can still maintain our relationship. But for some reason, she wants to go away to school. We were planning on moving in together and getting married. I love her so much and she says she loves me too. So why would she just get up and leave all of a sudden?

 

One day she's saying she isnt going away, and the next day she says she is going. Its driving me nuts. I understand she wants to get an education and I completely encourage it. But she can do that here and we can stay together. She's just choosing not to.

 

For me, love is more important than anything else. If I was offered a job making 10x what i'm making now, but i'd have to move away from the woman i love, I wouldn't do it. Not a chance. Nothing is more important then our love. Obviously she doesnt feel the same. But she swears her love to me.

 

I don't know what to believe. I'm really confused. I don't want to get in the way of her dreams. I love her so much and I want to see her happy. And if going away to school is what will make her happy, then I guess i'll just have to deal with it. I'm fighting the urge to ask her not to go. She knows I dont want her to go, but she also knows i'm not going to stop her. Maybe she's subconsciously asking me to stop her?

 

I feel like i'm giving up without a fight. I don't want her to leave. But if she stays because of me, i'm afraid she will resent me for it forever. But if i let her go, the love of my life will be gone forever. What should I do?

[dizzylizzy]

Unless there is good reason for her to go to school elsewhere i.e. it is a better school, the school is highly recognized then I would ask her not to go. If she can give you a good reason for attending a school that is out of town then I would stand behind her and assure that your love is strong enough to get through a long distance relationship and take it from there.

[TheRedQueen]

If you truly love her as you say you do, you should respect and support her decision to pursue her academic goals. However from the sentiment of your post, I'm sensing some feelings of insecurity on your behalf in regards to your relationship, it seems like you may, may not be harboring some feelings of doubt as to whether or not your girlfriend reciprocates the depth of your feelings.

 

My advice would be for you to express any and all of your feelings concerning the effects that this move will have on the future of your relationship.

 

Best of luck