Where to turn?

[taleahmage]

Ok... I'm to the point of frustration.

 

My bf came down to spend a few weeks with me. Things were going good until he came down here. He lives in VT 9 hours away, so it's difficult enough as it is. I've been up there a couple times to visit. He even invited me up to Easter dinner with his entire family in CT. He has been in the process of getting his life back into order before we met (ie, job, vehicle, and a place of his own). When we met, we hit it off pretty well and started talking every day. But he didn't want to really get into a relationship until his life was straight because he felt that he had nothing to bring to the relationship.

 

The last time I went up to VT in February, he told me that he loved me (which isn't something he says easily). He came down here in April and stayed for almost a month and a half. The first week he was down here was great. Then he started to get a bit moody. Before, we only spend a week at a time together. Suddenly being with someone for 5 weeks straight when you're not used to it can take a toll.

 

So, I'm not sure if we're taking a break, broke up, giving each other space. or what.... The last we spoke was on Thursday. He's told me that he loves me and that I have a part of his heart, but he needs to concentrate on getting his priorities straight. What's frustrating the most is that he's not a very verbal person and doesn't express his feelings very often. He left some things here, so I sent them out and they arrived today (according to Fedex).

 

I sometimes think I'm alright and then my emotions take over. I didn't realize just how much I actually loved him until yesterday. I was hanging out with a couple of friends and started missing him horribly. But I'm trying not to call because I can't keep doing that to myself. I miss talking with him more than anything. But now most of all I miss hearing him tell me he loves me. I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. I'm am trying to let go so he can get some things straight, but it's so difficult!!

 

Sorry to vent so much. I just needed to put my thoughts down. I've had some bad couple of days this weekend. I miss him so much. But you can't make someone want to be with you or even love you... right? Arrrggggh. I wish it didn't hurt so much

[zrx]

You should give it some time for him to get his life back together, he has told you he loves you which is good sign.