wont let him see his daughter

[hurtwou]

ok I met this wonderful guy...he has a daughter...and hes wonderful...he was married before and the babies mom wont let him see his daughter....I wanna see him today but he wanted to see his lil girl and hes all depressed...and now I feel bad....and I cant do anything about it...he just wants 2 stay home and doesnt wanna see anyone...but I had plans on seein him all day and I was excited and now it doesnt look like we'll be seeing each other! I know he wants time alone..and I know im bein selfish....he needa time alone...I already told him 2 go 2 court for custody....and he is I think...Its hurtin me seeing him hurt...what can I do?

[hazlcha]

I'd say, first and foremost, just be there for him. Does he not have any visitation rights? Or is his ex just violating them?

 

Whatever the case, I agree that it's not serving anyone for him to be moping around depressed, although not being able to see one's daughter is certainly depressing. I think that being supportive, and helping him refocus on enjoying life, sharing a laugh, will help.

 

So, for example, if he doesn't want to go out, maybe suggest just hanging around and watching something funny on TV, getting a movie. Anything to slightly shift his mood, and then he'll be more open to further opening up. Don't try to force yourself on him if he really needs the alone time, or make him talk, just be cheery and change the energy subtly. It's not all in your hands, be patient.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yeah, I don't date guys with kids because of the hassles involved that I just don't wish to deal with. The kids themselves aren't really the problem, though. But still, it's your choice, so good luck with that. And Is there some legal reason he can't see her? I mean abuse or something? Or is he refusing to abide by predetermined times or schedules? Other than that, the kid I'm sure misses her dad, so mom shouldn't be restricting visits.

[itsallgrand]

You can't do much at all except support him through it.

You're dating a guy with a kid, an ex (who apparently isn't happy or something), and possibly a draining court session in the future.

 

Usually, a father who loves their child and is not allowed to see them for one reason or another, will put that child as Priority #1.

So automatically, you will be Priority #2 or further down.

 

Are you okay with that in the long run? If you are: this is the sort of stuff you'll need to deal with.

 

good luck.

[Diva26]

Usually, a father who loves their child and is not allowed to see them for one reason or another, will put that child as Priority #1.

So automatically, you will be Priority #2 or further down.

 

How true. I am with a man who has 3 girls with his ex (and I have 2 girls with my ex) We've been together for 4 years this July. I won't blow sunshine up your pipe and tell you it's all rosey, but if you are serious about this guy and don't mind being second, then go for it. Something may have happened between him and his ex to make her deny his access to his daughter. Some women are controlling and vindictive.hazlcha's pretty much got it. Just be there for him. Chin up