BIG Night

[Sobo]

ok, so last night i had night school, so i go with my buddy, class ends early, and as we are pulling out, my other friend calls asking if we want to hang out at his place, have some beers and watch the game, we go. I spent quite a bit of time there, get a little tipsy, then 3 of us go out grab some late night pizza, and after that i decide to call it a night (or so i thought) my friend drops me off, and i get ready for bed, just as i am pulling my covers over myself, my phone rings, i tihnk it must be one of my buddies, to my shock it is the ex (same as in post, "going totally NC" ) she is crying, and says she wishes i could come over, and of course I give in, i put my clothes back on, not even think that i have a few beers and jump in the car and drive over to her place, as soon as enter the door she is there, an we hug and kiss, it felt so good just to do that, i missed it, for the past few weeks of the relationship i haven't felt that good. we go up stairs to the bedroom we can't control each other, but she is crying almost the entire time, i got a little emotional too, after all the fun, we lie there for what seems to be hours, just talking, how i should not have come etc. I keep wanting to tell her that I love her, but i do not b/c i know she will not reply with the answer i am looking for, I tell her that this is the last time this is ever going to happen, unless she changes her mind. etc. eventually we fall asleep, it was really nice to do that again, not a care in the world. The next morning i wake up, and what usually would happen with us is i would be up, and i would just stare at her face until she realized i was looking at her, and then just see her eyes, and instantly know that she loves me so much, but this morning i did not see that in her eyes, yes she was looking at me, but sometihng was missing, i could just tell, and THAT is what is going to make this a HELL of a lot easier for me, i now know she made the right choice for her, i realize that i would not want to have her look at me like that when we are really together, and just do it for me. Right now it feels really really good, she then goes on to tell me that the other guy, (her best guy friend from a few years ago, got a job somewhere up north and would be gone, so she says he is out of her life, i tell her thats only till he comes back anyway, then she tells me of this guy at work, who she thinks is attractive, and how he too does not seem too interested in a girl with a whole house to herself, (her parents went on a trip for a week, so she is at home alone, +siblings) and she goes on to say that she needed me for this, which is exactly my point i tell her, that this is what will continue to happen, and i tell her it will not continue to happen, that after i leave the front door today, and kiss her on the cheek, it will mean goodbye.

 

after a few more minutes of talking, i get up, get dressed she walks me down to the door, i do as i said i would, i kiss her, tell her goodbye, she does not want to let go of my hand, but i force it out, turn my back, and walk out the door without looking back...

 

a pretty good night, yes i needed that physical contct, it felt really really good, just to feel that warmth, and now by looking into her eyes, i can tell she does not feel it anymore, which honestly helped me realize that she has made the right decsion, at least temporarily, and now i can move on with my life with less pain.

[princessdi75]

I'm really happy for you. When I first started reading, I was afraid the whole thing was going to lead to some really bad experience...regrets, and emotional confusion...but it's so good to hear that someone has found content with knowing that someone who they have strong feelings for, doesn't feel the same way back - and it is just amazing that you can turn the other cheek and let her live her life, so in turn you can live yours. I find that very inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story!

[Tigris]

Well done Sobo for beginning to live again.

 

I hope you meet someone new soon.