A New Kind of Happily Ever After...

[lvlyldy]

Im in one of my more optomistic moods at the moment, and so here are a few thoughts running through my head, that give me hope that maybe one day ill be okay:

 

First, reading through some of the old posts, it seems like no matter what are different individual situations are... we're all feeling pretty much the same way and going through the same sort of thing. Being on this forum, we've been able to share our feelings, some of the most intimate details of some of the most embarrassing moments in our lives (like how we cried or beg to an ex to come back), and through this we are able to gain some solace that we are not alone.

 

Ive gone back to some of the posts written long before my ex and I ever broke up, and following the stories of some individuals I realized that they, like I never knew how their story would end. Some would come back months later and write about how much better they are doing on their own, others would come back with news of getting back together, while a few lucky others will come back with news of a new love who has picked them up and brought them back to the light. I dont know how my story is going to end, I may be here 3 or 4 months later still very much in love with my ex, but as time passes one day I will be one of those 3 happy scenarios. My story is unwritten, and as painful as the process is, one day I will look back at this experience and be able to see it in a completely different light- somewhat pained, but a whole lot more experienced and wise... as a new and improved individual. I think back to the silly highschool crushes I had, and how at the time they seemed like the world to me when reality they only made me stronger, and hopefully one day I can look back at my first love and feel the same way.

 

A second thought, (this may be a little silly for some- but Ive found solace in the weirdest thoughts these days....) being the romantic I am, I have always enjoyed reading Jane Austen novels: Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Sense and Sensibility,etc. (This randomly crossed my mind, when I saw my parents watching a Hindi version of Sense and Sensibility. My favorite ones always had to do with the romantic plot lines, which never worked out like childhood fairy tales. In those stories, the first dashing amazingly handsome and charming man was never the right guy. He would turn the protagonists life upside down with the excitement and the flurry of possiblities a new love brings. But in the end, he dashes her hopes in one way or another and turns out be a fraud of some sorts due to his own inadequacies. After much moping and self destruction, she rebuilds herself, and behold a new hero appears.. one that may not be as flashy and obvious at first, but one that really lasts... because the protagonist has a better understanding of what love really means.

 

So maybe finding a happily ever after isnt with your first love, or maybe it is, but in a new and improved relationship with that ex. Maybe I will find my prince charming one day... maybe he is my ex, maybe not... but one day he will come to me, and I know it will be when I least expect it, once im healed and ready for him to come into my life.

 

Right now, I look to the little things in life to make me happy... the fact that we've had gorgeous weather lately, or that my favorite flowers are in bloom outside. Sometimes I get sad thinking that I dont have my ex to share these thoughts with anymore, but I realized I have someone even better, myself. No one would appreciate it more than me, and I dont need someone else to validate my happiness. From now on, Im really going to look out for myself, even if it means keeping a rubberband around my wrist and snapping it everytime I think of my ex and get sad (a suggestion from a friend... has worked so far... it hurts )

 

Whatever your situation is, you will get through it, and our families, our friends (old and the new ones we make with the opportunities we now have as single individuals) and the people here at this forum will all help you get through it... and that is the greatest feeling of all... knowing that even if that one person isnt caring about us right now, we have the support and love of so many more people. Makes the world seem a little less lonely sometimes

[Daddy Bear]

what a healthy mind it is that created that post. and it made me realize what it is about ENA that keeps me coming here day after day without skipping a beat: we can all discuss our innermost secrets and lay our faults and weaknesses out on the table in a way that most of us, including myself, would never dare do in the 'real' world.

 

Emma... was that the one where the girl died after being put out in the cold to punish her at school (or something like that)?

[tylercdurden2004]

Good to know life is alright eh!

[alteer]

Oh you are so right!

 

Heal first............prince charming later........where ever the hell he is.........

[lvlyldy]

Emma I think was some kind of crazy match-making story... Emma tries to set up two people and chaos ensued, because of course, love is not sensible in the least. I think I might reread it now, just for the fun of it!

 

here is link to a synopsis if you're interested.

 

link removed

[mystik]

what a beautiful post. so true, I'm at the same place you are: wondering...but yet accepting what has happened and wondering what will happen. thanks for sharing

[hardcharger]

i'm in a sort of happily ever after, 20 yrs of marriage, much of it found me putting up with my wife's terrible temper and bad attitude. In January we took a wonderful trip to Las Vegas and she came home and went on anti-depressants. for 5 solid months i have enjoyed REAL marriage, my wife and I work together in this nice partnership for the life we have created. Before, I had difficulty imaging empty nest life in a few years, now i look forward to more alone time with my wife.