He is so depress, its driving me insane!

[HangingInThere]

I have posted a few different issues I have been having in my relationship, i am not sure if those issues tye in to this.

 

My boyfriend have been very depress for a while now. I am trying to be the supportive girlfriend. In the past I was really fed up with the way the relationship was going, so I was doing littel things. I was confuse about his actions and ways!

 

To get to the chase, he has been very depress lately and I do nto knwo what else to do to make him feel better. Last week we had an argument and basically he said he was so stress and he cannot deal with anymore stresses and we should break up. Anyway, he recanted within a few minutes stating all the stuff he is going thru and it is too much for him right now.

 

After speaking fo r a few hours, i said to him I would be there for him and I will stop fussing over petty things.

 

But now this is so much for me to handle but I do not want to give up on him...actually on my way home from his house he sne tme a text saying he loves me and thanks for not giving up on us.

 

We went out to see the Davinci Code on opening day and he mentioned that he wanted to get the book...so I surpirse him and mailed the book to him along with another book, an inspirational one. he thanked me and said he love everything. oh the reasonfo rmailing it - i didnt want to see him, i am kinda giving him space and decided we will see each other on the weekends...last week we spent the whole week together...So he was kind of hinting at needing his OWN time...no problem.

 

Now, what do i do to maintain my sanity while he is going thru this.....when we talk on the phone I am the one doing most of the talking, he is not up to doing anything...well he wants to go to the movies tomorrow...but I suggested other things for this holiday weekend and he shot them down. I kinda mentioned how I felt liek i was doing thigs to make him feel better, but basically he said he doesn't have any money and dont feel the need to do much!

 

Please help find a way to keep my sanity or should I just get out of this till he comes thru?

[tylercdurden2004]

Is he seeing a counsellor? If not I would make this a necessity for the relationship to continue. If he willnot make any effort to get help there is not much you can do for him and it will continue to drag you down along with him.

[HangingInThere]

No he's not...he thinks its a temporary thing and when business picks up he will be better!

 

but in the interim, its driving me insane!

 

I am here compromising myself to some extent - trying to be there for him and not require too much, but i feel like i am now selling myself short!

 

wow...i never knew how to formulate those thoughts into exact words before (selling myself short)

 

i dont want to have another one of those convo's with him, you know, a relationship convo...so i am guessing I should just be a 'good girlfren' and hang in there till he gets back on his feet?!

 

i am so concern for both of us!

[nottoogreen]

No he's not...he thinks its a temporary thing and when business picks up he will be better!

 

but in the interim, its driving me insane!

 

I am here compromising myself to some extent - trying to be there for him and not require too much, but i feel like i am now selling myself short!

 

wow...i never knew how to formulate those thoughts into exact words before (selling myself short)

 

i dont want to have another one of those convo's with him, you know, a relationship convo...so i am guessing I should just be a 'good girlfren' and hang in there till he gets back on his feet?!

 

i am so concern for both of us!

 

Have been in his shoes and done lots of damage.

 

Fixing depression mandates firstly a change in attitudes which cause it.

 

That is easier said than done.

 

In my case I was always overloaded with work/business and kept falling behind.

 

Dunno if you can/want handle it, but I think he needs counseling and change.

 

Change is the tough part...

[Pixiemeat]

This is going to sound so bad, but leave. I looked after a depressive for four years and all it did was drive me insane. He didn't do anything for himself, I did everything, I helped, I gave him everything and I got nothing out of it but heartbreak. In the end I had to leave.

 

These people will not get better unless they help themselves. I've had an eating disorder (series of) for the last 8 years and the only times I've got vaguely better have been through my own personal hard work, not because of anyone else. The same with depressives. If he doesn't want to seek help or make himself better, NOTHING you will do will make him better.

 

So sit around and burn yourself out all you like love, but all you're doing is making yourself unhappy. Good luck, PM if you need to chat.