SkylinesTurnstiles Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I feel really stupid writing here.But im going to.I dont trust my self or others and its really starting to hurt people.Like i still feel really iffy when i see my ex bestie and my boifriend.Im scared of geting hurt again.Also i love my dad but most of the time i hate him.He never listens to me he is like a alcholic.cept he doesnt hit us. But he is a smoker alcholic and sometimes i feel like leaving.I dont know what to do bout him.well im going to stop boring now. Link to comment
Doctor Smurf Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Hi Liza... I can relate to part of what you say regarding trusting the other sex, I find that hard too because I've been systematically hurt by girls over the last six months or so, or at least thats how it seems. I know we are both far from alone on that one. I don't have any experience to give to you on your father, but I know others on here can! So take care, and rest assured its not boring, its why the forums here! Doc Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I feel really stupid writing here.But im going to.I dont trust my self or others and its really starting to hurt people.Like i still feel really iffy when i see my ex bestie and my boifriend.Im scared of geting hurt again.Also i love my dad but most of the time i hate him.He never listens to me he is like a alcholic.cept he doesnt hit us. But he is a smoker alcholic and sometimes i feel like leaving.I dont know what to do bout him.well im going to stop boring now. I had an alcoholic dad too. He died when I was 14. I kept busy with study and work and had my first girlfriend age 23. Where is your mom? Link to comment
SkylinesTurnstiles Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 my mum is here. he doesnt get drunk 24-7 but most of the timehe is drunk or tipsy. i remember once @ my sis wedding he got drunk came back late(we were all staying @ a park place with cabins) and he was abusing my mum calling he a f*cking b*tch and i was like 10-12 and i was awake and i was so scared of him . i thought he was going to hit her. I love him so much doe. I also love my boifriend so much.im really stuck.p.s my dad dont like my boifriend.i dont kno y. my mum loves him Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 my mum is here. he doesnt get drunk 24-7 but most of the timehe is drunk or tipsy. i remember once @ my sis wedding he got drunk came back late(we were all staying @ a park place with cabins) and he was abusing my mum calling he a f*cking b*tch and i was like 10-12 and i was awake and i was so scared of him . i thought he was going to hit her. I love him so much doe. I also love my boifriend so much.im really stuck.p.s my dad dont like my boifriend.i dont kno y. my mum loves him I remember the feeling when dad was drunk and fight with mom or went into hiding to drink more. Mom divorced him, I choose to stay with him and 7 month later he was dead. I wish at times I would have asked my dad why he drank or help him. Can't give you advise how to fix your dad, it is very difficult to cure alcoholism, but try to be supportive of your mom and be close with her. It is fine if you have a good boyfriend but please remember boys are boys. Study hard for your future. Ahh, and please do not drink Sorry if I talk too much Link to comment
SkylinesTurnstiles Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 you dont talk to much. thank you. p.s ive tried 1000 times to stop dad from drinking/smoking.it does really help.im sorry this is prob wasting your time Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 you dont talk to much. thank you. p.s ive tried 1000 times to stop dad from drinking/smoking.it does really help.im sorry this is prob wasting your time I am sure the day will come when you can talk and maybe help someone on enotalone. You are not wasting my time. If I would have no time or would not be interested, I would not be here. Same applies to others on this forum. I also like to talk to you because of my dad when I was your age. Alcoholism is an addiction. Addiction makes someone do something all the time without thinking. There can be even chocolate addiction or these days addiction to RPG games. What I want you to understand is that your dad can not control his drinking. His mind needs it and if it is very bad, his body needs it too or he is shaking. Do you ever see your fathers hand shake when he is sober? How to fix it? Addicts do not like fixing. My dad was internized many times just to drink again. To help your dad we have to understand more about his life and his relationship with your mom. You and your mom happy and can talk about everything? Link to comment
Serendipity1607307077 Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 Liza, I know where you are coming from... Let me first say that you are not wasting our time, we are here to help, and also - don't ever feel stupid for asking for help, or asking for advice. My mother was/is still an alcoholic and has been since I was about five years old. After millions of confrontation attempts, after repeatedly pouring her booze down the sink and hundreds of other methods, nothing really worked. I think that it is too soon for you to be leaving home, that's for sure... Remember that alcohol is quite often used as a form of escape from reality (same as drugs). Your dad is depressed and isn't sure who to turn to.. so he turned to alcohol. The only way for him to beat it is to confront the issue himself. Sometimes the addiction is so strong that you will find that people aren't willing to give it up, even if the ones closest to their heart is asking them to stop. My Mum used to drink till she fell asleep... but she would also abuse my brother and I and play obnoxiously loud music. What you do need to know, is that your Dad still loves you, despite his problem with alcohol. I'm here if you ever want to talk to me about it... Link to comment
SkylinesTurnstiles Posted June 9, 2006 Author Share Posted June 9, 2006 Thank you everyone.ive accepted now that i cant get my dad to stop . i rememba him gettin really drunk ( same wedding weekend) we were asleep and in the morning in woke up and my mum told my younger brother and my sis and i that my dad was in intensive care. wen he was drunk he went out side and fell off the varanda and smashed his cheek bone( i think it was his cheek)he was there a while and it riuned our plans. i though that mite of showed him but it didnt.My mum and i arnt really that close.when i used to be depresed i made my mum cry so i realised what i did so ive been trying to get closer to her.When i was depresed i triend ending my life but my mum tried to get me 2 a councilour but i didnt want to go.But she helped me realise.My mum is a really really good mum. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Hi Liza, I was wondering how you are doing and am happy you write again. Your mum will always care about you and your brother and sister. She has a hard time with dad. Please do not make her cry. If you can be closer with her, it will help her a lot. Mom, you and brother and sister should be united and help each other. You do not have to let anything make you depressed. You are young and as long as you think positive, you can accomplish many things. If you want to help your dad, dad needs treatment and motivation from your mom and you. If you can be a close family and love him it will help him. But alcoholism is difficult to cure and you have to be strong. How many days and much does your dad drink in one week (beer/whisky)? Does your dad work and what? Your mom is working? Be strong Link to comment
Dubzuk Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 please dont ever feel stupid or like ur boring us, were here to help u with whatever we can. i really hope that things work out for u, stay positive Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Oh my dear baby gal! Darling when i showed you this forum and you joined it i was excited in a weird way and darling i was because at that time i knew you needed to talk freely to people and this is how i had gotten a lil better... Please never feel like you are boring us or like you shouldnt post here you should! Ok well you are having a really bad time with your dad that part is obvious but as the others have said you can't change what he does but you can hopefully change your reaction! I know what he does hurts you to see him like that and also your mum and family feeling depressed because of whats going on but you all have to be strong! Familys are like that no matter how big or small they can bind together. You as a person cannot cure your father but maybe all working together you can make him see how much he is hurting you b doing this. I know your dad and im sure that he doesnt want to hurt anyone he loves and he loves you all! So please keep getting closer to your mum and keep talking to her. She'll need you so much now and in the future. love always rozi! Link to comment
Magpie 1974 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Al Anon or Al Ateen might interest you. You can Google them and see what you think... Mags Link to comment
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