Could there be any hope?

[In_Limbo]

hi, please bear with me and I will try and keep my story short!

 

my exBF and I were together 14 months. in the last few months we had a couple of massive rows that ended with him walking out, but getting back together within a couple of days.

 

because things were stressful, we decided it would be for the best if he got his own place but we stayed together (we rushed into living together, he moved in after 2 months.)

 

that all went ahead and the day of his move was last friday. on the day, we had another massive row. just a couple of hours beforehand, we were absolutely fine, very lovey with each other etc. but the row was huge....a lot of anger....nasty things said to each other.....I smashed his computer in rage (I don't know if I broke it, I hope not.)

 

anyway since then I haven't seen him.....I text a couple of times about some clothes he left here. he finally got back to me this morning and is coming to pick up the rest of his things later.

 

I just don't know whether there is any hope for us. Once he's collected his things I am going to start proper NC as there will be no "excuse" to contact him any longer. but I guess I am in denial as we have got back together after similar situations; the difference this time being he has his own place & no "reason" to come back.

 

Should I hold out hope because it was such a sudden split? I know he hasn't met anybody else and I know it was a snap decision for us to be apart. If I leave him alone, might he come back???

[BellaDonna]

How do these fights you're getting into, start off? Are you fighting about the same thing each time, or different little things?

 

From what you described- the relationship sounds very unhealthy. Both of you lack maturity and self-control when trying to communicate with one antoher. These types of volatile situations can easily lead to physical violence.

 

Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship- and it's severely lacking in your relationship. I think you're doing the right thing by beginning no contact and trying to move on. You may want to work on your anger issues before you enter any relationship with another person. Smashing a computer is pointless and not a productive way to deal with conflict.

 

 

BellaDonna

[triggerfish1968]

Sounds like you have an explosive temper. I think it is very important to work on ways to avoid outbursts like that, as it can ruin a relationship very fast. What I read was anger is a reaction to a fear. So what about the fighting gets you angry? Try to dig deeper to find answers. I seriously doubt that you wish to go through life fighting and having outbursts like that in a relationship.