I'm a nervous wreck

[Beyondthesea]

My best friend died about 3 weeks ago very suddenly at age 24. This goes to show that you should always live life as though it's the last day, because you never know.

 

My bf was also very good friends with her, and we're both doing alright, but I'm a complete nervous wreck. Everything is a huge issue for me right now. If the house is untidy I'm neurotic and cleaning it. When people call me I don't want to talk. Everything at work is driving me mental. Today I bid on something on ebay for my bf's b day and won, and now I'm mental because the seller hasn't contacted me (it's been like an hour) because I'm having issues using auctioncheckout. Ahhhh! I'm literally trembling over nothing.

 

Is it normal to get so neurotic and touchy after someone you love has passed away? I am normally neurotic but this is out of hand. I'm also freaked out about any symptom I have or that my bf has, worrying one of us is going to die.

 

Anyone have some advice or similar experiences?

 

Hugs to you all~

[RayKay]

Hey hon,

 

I know how hard that is. My late bf died 2 weeks before his 26th birthday, it would be 4 years ago a month from now actually. It too was quite sudden, quite life changing, and extremely difficult. It is something that you really do grow from, and learn what really matters in life, more than ever. The strange thing is he always DID live life like everyday could be the last, I always wonder if somehow he always knew he would only be here for a short time.

 

I think your current feelings are totally normal. It has taken me years to learn that I can't worry all the time. That I can't stop things from happening that might, but I CAN certainly always let my loved ones know how much I love them everyday, and never leave them angry. It took me a long time to feel okay being close to someone again. I do notice I worry a lot more for their health & safety, but I don't drive them crazy with it anymore .

 

Anyway, grief does funny things. You go through it at your own pace, and everyone goes through it differently. And that is okay too. Counselling can help a great deal with it.

 

Talk with your boyfriend, keep her spirit and memory alive, and support one another.

 

Lots of hugs, I am very sorry about your friend, I know it is very cliche, but time does heal, and in time the good memories replace the bad ones you have associated with their death.

 

-RayKay

[FoxLocke]

We all grieve in different ways. You are just reacting like someone who suffered something traumatic, which you did.

 

My advice is to just go through the healing process. And what you are doing now is apart of it.

 

Sorry about your friend!

[Tigris]

I agree with RayKay and FoxLocke.

 

It's your way of dealing with the grieving process.

[Beyondthesea]

And it's so mentally exhausting too! I am sitting at my desk at work shaking over ebay for the love of Pete. It's been 5 hours and the girl hasn't contacted me so I'm panicked. Oh brother!

[btbt]

I'm sorry to hear about this. You must be going through a hard time. It sounds like you are going through some type of post-traumatic stress disorder. Since the death was unexpected, now you've become afraid that every normal situation is going to end in the most catastrophic way. It is good that you recognize that worrying over ebay is an exaggerated response. One exercise that I've learned from cognitive behaviorial therapy is that when you start panicking over something, write down or mentally picture the worst case, best case and middle of the road scenario. Figure out what is the most likely thing to happen (it's usually something in the middle). If you can concentrate on that, you'll come to realize that your panic is unfounded. Best wishes and condolences.

[lorrie17]

my bff died at 28 years old, i am fifty now and i still think about her. less so about her death but about her life and family and all the fun we used to have. she was so wacky and optimistic and loyal. i can say that i don't think of every single day anymore but i do look back now and then, hurts less as the years go by and they will.