I want him back but he's with another girl...

[loving_coca-cola]

I recently (a little over a month ago) broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. He's liked me a lot since last year, but I decided to break up with my then-boyfriend to go out with him after I saw him in the beginning of the year. I was always attracted to him, and he seemed like he would treat me better than my then-boyfriend. We're both sophmores in college, and we had been going on and off throughout the last few months of our relationship because we fought a lot. It was always either me or him saying that we would break up, but making up after a day or so. But this time, it was different. He told me he wanted to break up and told me to get out of his room.

 

I called him a while later and he told me he needed space so I agreed. He even sent me an email saying how special we were, how he thought we had so much potential, and didn't want to let me go yet. But an hour later, after talking to one of his older frat brothers, he decided to end it over an ambiguous post on his xanga.

 

I begged and cried (I know... I was stupid) for a week. But after that, I decided to stay away from him. That's when he started popping up in front of me everywhere on campus. He would tell me I looked pretty and stuff. And even if I would leave class without saying anything to him, he would follow me and talk to me about random things. He would even call me, occasionally unblock me on AIM and talk to me, and etc. But every fifth sentence was always "Let's make this clear. I never EVER want to get back with you ever again".

 

Then he comes around one day to tell me that he got a date for his frat formal. She just turned out to be a girl who's also going abroad to the same destination as him and me. Even though he'd been unblocking me from AIM for the past three days, he decided to block me again on the night of the formal. And after a month (well it was more like three weeks) after we broke up, I find out he's going out with her. He writes posts like "Every little thing she does is magic. Everything she do just turns me on" on his xanga, and he seems to be head over heels for her.

 

Ever since then, he hasn't contacted me. Neither have I. He still checks my xanga every time I update though. Right now, I'm working on being positive and working on my flaws that I came to see through this breakup. For that, I'm thankful. I'm trying to improve myself both inside and out. But the thing is... I want him back. I don't care if it's a couple of months from now, I want him back. He was such an important part of my life, and I want to be the one to make him happy, and I want him to be the one to make me happy.

 

The new girlfriend who's going to be abroad in the same destination next year... We're approaching summer break and I have no clue what's going to happen. I'm going to try to take that time for self improvement. But do I have a chance? Were his feelings for me so dead by the time we broke up that he could just happily go on to someone else after a month? He kept on telling me how he missed me and loved me but couldn't get back together with me because there was no way it was going to work out Please give me some opinions and advice!!

[xblondyx]

Don't Look Back.

 

I know you love him, but this guy seems like a right jerk. By unblocking you on AIM he was getting you interested in him again, even though he's with someone else. Does it not feel like he was starting to string you along so that when this girl leaves, he could start getting closer to you again?

 

No, i know it's hard, but don't look back. You can do better. If he really loved you he wouldn't have broken it off.

[dna_girl]

You're not stupid for begging and crying. Maybe you didn't make the smartest decision, but we all make mistakes.

 

I think it's weird how he would make it a point to talk to you after class, and pop up around campus (i.e. follow you) and tell you look pretty, and then emphasize that there was no way he was getting back together with you. He was totally playing mind games.

 

Do you think you just want him back because he is unattainable now? And because he was the one who didn't want it any longer and he was in control of saying no. Sometimes that's attractive.

 

He's obviously moved on. I don't know if you should try and break them up (if that's what you were going to do..) I mean how would you feel if you were the girl and someone tried to do that to you? That wouldn't be cool. BUT if they do break up at some point maybe you can try and see if things work out then. Until then you should work on yourself, self-improvement as you said.

[loving_coca-cola]

xblondyx> Yeah, I somehow got the vibe that he was keeping me around just in case things didn't work out with the girl he was pursuing. I guess it's going well between them now though because I haven't seem him at all, let alone spoken to him. I guess I'm trying not to look back. But I still have that hope that it would be great if he would be wherever I'm moving on towards.

 

dna_girl> I haven't thought about breaking them up because I feel like the only way that this relationship would ever work out is if he comes back to me. I feel like if I end up asking him again or somehow try to manipulate things, it would just end up with me being subordinate in the relationship again. But I won't lie... I somehow hope that they break up even though I know that it doesn't necessarily mean that he will come back to me.

 

Thanks guys