How do I stop being jealous!?

[tuatara]

Ok so I have been going out with my girl for 5 months now, I can surely say that we are both on a great vibe, never fought once and have heaps of fun.

 

Now i have no reason not to trust my girl, she has done nothing to make me doubt her, but I guess i get jealous if she talks about her guy friends a lot to me. And if we go out with her guy friends, I guess I might get jealous shes not paying enough attention to me. I just hate feeling jealous, im not a controlling person at all, I dont no if its could be that Im insecure, but I just hate that feeling and want to get rid of it!

 

What do i do?

[RandomAdvisor]

Are most of her friends guys?

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, if since you have an exclusive relationship with her, you should let her know that you are uncomfortable with her guy friends, and that in order to keep this relationship together, she is either going to have to dump all her guy-friends, or she is going to have to see them much less frequently then she is now.

 

The only cure for jealousy is to be upfront, forthright and honest and tell her how you are feeling or suffer in silence.

[Relationship Coach]

Even in a committed relationship you should not ask her to give up her guy friends! If you do, you will lose her for sure. This would show that you are immature, untrusting of her and overly jealous. She talks to you about her guy friends, OK they are friends. When her guy friends hang out with you, accept them. Other guys will sense your weakness and so will she. If she were to cross a line with one of them, then the story is different, but from what you have posted, let it go.

 

You are her BF, if she wanted to be with one of them, don't you think she would? You sound a little lacking in the confidence department, is there anyone thing that makes you uncomfortable about these guys? Do you feel they are better looking or could offer her more? Get a hold of yourself and think about it before you start handing her ultimatums.

 

RC

[sukerbut]

see i had the similar issue with my ex..towards the end i got very jealous and i drove her away, my problem though was when me and her met the first time (5yrs ago) she cheatedv on her b/f with me...and all i could remember was her telling him all the time..pete is just my friend..it sucks for you bro...i dont care what all these super confident people here with a gazzillion posts will tell you. your life will continue to be in upheavale with all these dudes lurking...you know at any given time men are animals and will attack..i am successful , 31 super confident (but that does not mean i am going to sit here and get played by anyone dont care how much i love them) have a great life, i am in shape, yet towards the final 9th month i just could not deal with it any more...it got to the point of disrespect...so my friend handle your business like a man..calm and confident, but tell her this is what the deal is...its called peace of mind and right now you dont have any...i bet when she is out with her friends at night and your not with her a million senarios run through your mind..no way to be ina trusting relationship...maybe you should go find some female "friends" and hang with them..see how she likes it...

[chuck norris]

i have read the replies to your question and in all accounts every one is right and every one is also wrong.

 

i have been in the same situation as yourself and out of all the human emotions jealousy is by far the most powerful and dangerous one of all.

 

what petlady1536 said is so true.

 

if she feels for you and cares enough for you then she should be able to help you through it. but like the others say if you are not careful you will push her away and loose her if you try to drive a wedge between her and her mates.

 

you should approach her about your feelings but in a way that is not going to scare her off.

if she is right for you she will be thinking of your emotions and maybe give you a call when she is with her friends and not do any thing that would give youreason to think she is up to something.

a classic one is if she is out with her male mate/s and she doesnt come home and nor does she answer her phone.

 

but in reality she has left her phone at home and got to drunk to get home so her friend slept on the sofa and gave her his bed.

but in the jealous mind thats not what happened.

 

its not a nice situation to be in that is for sure.

talk to her about it and see what she says and post back what she says..

[tuatara]

Thanks everyone! I did end up confronting her about it, and she was absolutely great about it, I never wanted her to stop seeing her guy mates, I just wanted her to realize how I felt about her talking about them all the time. I couldn't of asked for a better response! Everything is all good now.